Alice's blighted profession

In Short

Determined to prove herself against her family's wishes, Alice opens a law office in New York City, only to find herself grappling with zero genuine clients and a parade of eccentric applicants and acquaintances. When her society friend Diana stages an elaborate hoax involving fake stenographers and conflicting visitors, Alice's professional aspirations dissolve into chaos. Lasting as a charming turn-of-the-century comedic sketch for girls, the play captures the humorous tension between traditional societal expectations and women's emerging independence through lighthearted theatrical farce.

The Story

Alice sits in her modern New York office surrounded by fake correspondence meant to simulate a thriving legal practice. Her society friend Diana visits, urging her to abandon the profession for a northern tour and quickly exposing the meaningless names on Alice's desk. Despite Diana's pleas and warnings about losing her youth to worry, Alice insists on continuing her work, fueled by her desire for independence despite her father and Tom's skepticism.

After Diana leaves, a succession of peculiar visitors tests Alice's patience. A nervous charity worker named Bell solicits funds for disabled animals and is swiftly dismissed. Next arrives Miss Johnickstoner, a nervous stenographer who breaks down in tears during a dictation test and flees back to her waiting mother. She is followed by Miss Chickenfencer, a vivacious and easily distracted applicant who corrects Alice's vocabulary, chats on the office phone with a suitor named Bob, and abandons her post to attend a daytime dance.

Left alone, Alice endures another phone call from the departed Miss Chickenfencer before a new applicant arrives: Miss Prune, who is actually Diana in disguise. Prune speaks grandly of noble service rather than financial gain and is left in charge of the office while Alice steps out for an appointment. True to form, Prune rearranges the office and traps the next visitor, a haughty society woman named Mrs. Baxter, forcing her to stay and converse about household shopping bargains.

The situation escalates when Miss Worker, a religious charity solicitor, arrives and attempts to secure donations from Mrs. Baxter, who dismisses her coldly. The chaos peaks with the entrance of Mary, an excitable suffragette who launches into a passionate tirade against men and the long struggle for the vote. Mary and Mrs. Baxter lock horns in a heated political argument—one championing suffrage and the other staunchly opposing it—while Miss Worker prays for peace and Prune looks on in amusement.

Alice returns to find the office in an uproar and successfully defuses the tension by pointing out that despite their political differences, both women share everyday human interests. Once Mrs. Baxter and Mary depart amicably, Alice discovers her legal documents have been completely destroyed by Prune. The truth is finally revealed when Prune removes her disguise and confesses that Diana, along with her schoolmates Marie Hopkins and Rose Fishby, engineered the entire charade. The fake stenographers and eccentric visitors were all part of a calculated plot to exhaust Alice into abandoning her legal career. Resigned to her defeat and anticipating the teasing of her father and Jack, Alice accepts that her professional venture will forever be known as her blighted profession.

How It Unfolds

The lonely office Alice sits in her newly established New York office, maintaining an elaborate facade of busy correspondence to hide her complete lack of actual clients. Her wealthy friend Diana drops by to invite her on a northern tour and quickly uncovers the truth behind the meaningless names on the desk.

The erratic applicants A parade of strange job seekers disrupts Alice's workday, beginning with a nervous charity worker collecting for animals and followed by a tearful stenographer who cannot handle basic dictation. Another applicant, Miss Chickenfencer, proves entirely uncontrollable, chatting on the office phone with a suitor before abandoning the position entirely to attend a daytime dance.

The disguise takes hold Diana returns later disguised as Miss Prune, a theatrical job seeker who claims to despise money in favor of noble, self-sacrificing pursuits. Left in charge of the office while Alice steps out, Prune immediately clears away the legal papers and traps a haughty society visitor into an unwanted, lingering conversation.

The political clash The office fills with clashing personalities as a religious charity worker and an excitable suffragette join the captive society woman. Mary launches into a fiery pro-suffrage speech that sparks a direct, passionate debate with the anti-suffrage Mrs. Baxter until Alice finally returns to restore temporary calm.

The final revelation Discovering her legal documents destroyed, Alice confronts the mysterious Miss Prune, who strips away her disguise to reveal her true identity as Diana. The entire ordeal is unmasked as an elaborate practical joke executed with school chums to cure Alice of her legal ambitions once and for all.

The People

Alice is a young lawyer who wants to build an independent professional practice and prove her capability against family skepticism. Standing in her way are a complete absence of genuine clients and her friends' concerted efforts to undermine her venture. She ends up defeated, accepting the label of her blighted profession after the elaborate hoax breaks her resolve.

Diana is a fashionably dressed society woman who wants Alice to abandon her career and join social excursions. Her obstacle is Alice's stubborn determination. Diana resolves this by orchestrating a theatrical hoax with her former schoolmates, ultimately succeeding in forcing Alice to give up her office.

Miss Chickenfencer is a vivacious, easily distracted job applicant who wants personal amusement, romance, and leisure rather than actual employment. Her lack of professional discipline stands in contrast to office norms, and she leaves unchanged, prioritizing her date with Bob over work.

Mrs. Baxter is a haughty society woman who values social standing and personal comfort above all else. Her primary obstacle is the eccentric group of women trapping her in Alice's office. She remains steadfast in her anti-suffrage views, though she momentarily unbends to laugh with Mary at the end.

Mary is an excitable suffragette who wants to advance women's rights and secure political equality. Her barrier is the societal apathy represented by women like Mrs. Baxter. She remains fiercely dedicated to her cause, charging out of the office hand-in-hand with Mrs. Baxter after a brief reconciliation.

In Its Own Voice

When Diana discovers the meaningless names written across Alice's desk papers, she exposes the lack of actual business with sharp skepticism.

Ah-ah--the plot thickens--so Dick has been consulting you, too?

While attempting a basic dictation test in the office, Miss Johnickstoner breaks down entirely and confesses her inability to continue the work.

My point broke.

After enduring hours of chaotic political arguing and eccentric visitors, Alice finally confronts the disguised prankster who ruined her legal documents.

Diana? At your service, mum.

What It's Really About

The play explores the tension between traditional social roles for women and the emerging desire for professional independence during the early twentieth century. Through light farce, it examines how society views women's attempts to enter male-dominated fields like law, framing them through the condescending lens of a silly fad. It also highlights the internal contradictions among women themselves, contrasting the high-minded rhetoric of suffragettes and charity workers with everyday domestic concerns like fashion, shopping bargains, and romance. Ultimately, it questions whether women can successfully break free from expected social molds or if they remain tethered to traditional expectations by both external pressure and internal inclinations.

Why Read It Today

Readers interested in early twentieth-century popular culture and historical representations of early professional women will find this short sketch remarkably entertaining. Reading it feels like stepping into a brisk, good-natured theatrical trifle written specifically for amateur performance groups, relying on rapid-fire entrances, disguises, and exaggerated character types for its humor. Modern readers should approach it with an awareness of its period attitudes, particularly its broad, satirical caricatures of suffragettes, charity workers, and society women. While it lacks psychological depth, its charm lies in its theatrical energy and its snapshot of changing gender dynamics during a transitional era. What stays with you is the playful absurdity of Diana's elaborate hoax and the affectionate camaraderie shared by women who, despite their fiery public disagreements over politics and careers, ultimately share common ground over hats and human nature. It is a quick, amusing artifact of its time that offers a lighthearted glimpse into early feminist-era parlor comedy.