An Eel by the Tail

In Short

A young physics teacher at Terre Haute's Technical High School attempts a dramatic demonstration of the Ziegler effect to wake up his bored students, only to accidentally summon a bizarre extra-galactic polymorph. This entity reads minds, projecting vivid, customized hallucinations—ranging from a strip tease dancer to a green dinosaur—directly into the classroom. As school faculty and students gather to examine the creature, they realize they have caught an unearthly entity they can neither control nor easily let go, until a final reset sends the alien back across the cosmos.

The Story

At Terre Haute's Technical High School, fresh-out-of-college physics teacher Mr. Tedder prepares a difficult first-period class in Physics II. Anxious to impress his hardened, apathetic junior boys who are still brooding over a basketball loss to Wabash, Tedder constructs an elaborate demonstration of the mysterious Ziegler effect. Ignoring standard protocols, he winds three solenoids with heavy silver wire and powers them with a battery of lithium-reaction cells and an antique spark coil. When he closes the circuit using a rigged telegraph key, the iron-cerium alloy bar disappears—and in its place, a strip tease dancer named Honey LaRue materializes on the marble bench, causing student Ned Norcross to faint.

Mr. Tedder hastily dismisses the class, though top students Stetzel and Guenther linger with questions about the optical illusion. Shortly after, Principal Coar walks in to reprimand Tedder for letting students out early, only to witness Honey LaRue vanish and reappear, responding instantly to unspoken thoughts by manifesting a pot of geraniums. Realizing the phenomenon is real and telepathic, Coar calls Stetzel and Guenther back, while biology teacher Mr. Formeller and Latin teacher Miss MacIntire burst into the room, outraged that their students were pulled from microbiology and Latin classes.

Instead of punishing Tedder, the faculty becomes transfixed as the entity adapts to their thoughts. When Formeller thinks of a dinosaur, a green-skinned Tyrannosaurus Rex holding a young lady appears, causing Miss MacIntire to faint. Formeller deduces that the creature is a stationary, plant-like trap—akin to a Venus' flytrap or protective mimicry—designed to lure prey. When offered a slice of pimento-loaf from Tedder's lunch, the entity snaps it up, confirming it is carnivorous. Miss MacIntire translates an unexpected, toga-clad Greek gentleman's utterance as a warning: "You've got an eel by the tail."

The group debates the implications. Stetzel suggests it could help psychiatrists cure paranoics, while Guenther wonders if they can communicate with its home world. Miss MacIntire names the entity Polymorph metagalacticus. As Honey LaRue briefly reappears to perform a provocative "bump," shocking the Latin teacher, the adults realize they are dangerously unequipped to manage an alien organism. Mr. Tedder steps up to the telegraph key and taps it once more, triggering a sharp flash of green light and a vacuum pop that banishes the polymorph entirely. Attempts to recall it through shared concentration fail, and Tedder concludes its appearance was a once-in-history cosmic accident.

Across the universe, on a distant planet in a galaxy far beyond human instruments, a young alien pre-maturate chortles with joy as its teacher returns. Brushing aside the messy slice of pimento-loaf left draped over the silver cube, the young alien commands a "Klompfr" to appear, sharing its delight with its elders.

How It Unfolds

The grand setup Mr. Tedder over-engineers a high school physics demonstration using heavy silver wire, lithium-reaction cells, and an antique spark coil to shake his apathetic students awake. When he taps his rigged telegraph key, he expects a standard physical anomaly based on Ziegler's effect, but instead conjures a human strip tease dancer named Honey LaRue directly onto the marble bench.

The faculty gathers Principal Coar arrives to scold the teacher for early dismissal, but witnesses the illusion firsthand and promptly summons students Stetzel and Guenther back to the room. Soon, biology teacher Mr. Formeller and Latin teacher Miss MacIntire storm in, highly indignant, only to be drawn into the baffling, multi-person spectacle of a reactive, telepathic entity that materializes geraniums and dinosaurs alike.

Testing the beast Mr. Formeller theorizes that the creature uses psychological mimicry as a stationary, plant-like trap to lure prey, a hypothesis quickly confirmed when it eagerly devours a slice of pimento-loaf offered on a galvanized wire. The group officially names the entity Polymorph metagalacticus while excitedly debating its immense scientific, educational, and psychiatric potential for the human world.

The sudden departure Recognizing the profound dangers and absolute unpredictability of managing an uncontrollable extra-galactic organism that mimics their deepest thoughts and desires, the adults realize they have an eel by the tail. Mr. Tedder steps up to the apparatus and taps the telegraph key a final time, producing a sharp flash of green light and a vacuum pop that instantly banishes the polymorph.

The cosmic echo On a distant planet across the universe, the young alien's missing teacher reappears safely to the immense relief of the pupil. The young being gleefully tosses aside the messy slice of pimento-loaf left draped over the silver cube and commands a strange new creature to appear, spilling its delight out into the minds of its elders.

The People

Mr. Tedder is a fresh-out-of-college physics teacher anxious to prove himself in his first job. He wants to inspire his hardened junior students with a striking demonstration, but his over-engineered apparatus instead traps an alien life-form, leaving him scrambling to manage a chaotic classroom of faculty and students.

Principal Coar enters expecting to enforce school discipline and quiet down noisy hallways. Instead, he finds himself mesmerized by the creature's ability to manifest his passing thoughts—such as geraniums—and ultimately helps name and evaluate the alien, shifting from strict administrator to fascinated observer.

Stetzel and Guenther are conscientious top students in the class. Eager to learn and understand scientific anomalies, they take thorough notes and recognize that the entity possesses genuine imagination and independent thought rather than mere mass hypnosis.

Mr. Formeller, the veteran biology instructor, approaches the anomaly with strict scientific inquiry. He classifies the polymorph as a stationary, carnivorous plant utilizing protective mimicry to lure prey, eager to study its metabolism and biology.

Miss MacIntire, the traditional Latin teacher, initially objects to classroom disruptions but becomes an active participant. She translates an alien's Greek warning about holding an eel by the tail, helps coin the scientific name Polymorph metagalacticus, and reacts with Victorian modesty to the creature's more scandalous manifestations.

In Its Own Voice

When Mr. Tedder prepares his ambitious and unorthodox equipment for class, he hopes to impress his students with phenomena beyond current scientific understanding.

Above all, Mr. Tedder felt that his Junior boys might be considerably edified by an electrical phenomenon that was not yet understood by the best physical theorists of three planets.

As the strange entity begins interacting with the room, the biology teacher attempts to classify its dangerous predatory nature.

I believe that this hallucinative power, as you call it, is the logical development of protective coloration, mimicry, and similar devices used by earthly creatures to elude their enemies and to lure their prey.

Concluding their frantic debate over whether they can control the anomaly, Miss MacIntire identifies the precarious predicament using classical wisdom.

"We've got an eel by the tail, as it said."

What It's Really About

The story explores the intersection of rigorous scientific inquiry and the unpredictable absurdity of the unknown. Through the lens of a mundane high school physics classroom, the narrative questions how human beings—conditioned by their respective academic disciplines like physics, biology, and classical languages—attempt to categorize and rationalize phenomena that completely defy terrestrial logic. It plays with the idea that the universe is vast, accidental, and indifferent to human categories, suggesting that what we perceive as profound scientific discovery might simply be a child's game in another corner of the cosmos, reducing our institutional authority to cosmic coincidence.

Why Read It Today

Readers who love classic mid-century science fiction filled with witty banter, academic satire, and unexpected cosmic twists will find immense charm in this short story. Reading it feels like stepping into a brisk, humorous 1950s pulp magazine where high school hallways collide with interstellar strangeness. The story captures a delightful comedic rhythm through the contrasting reactions of rigid educators facing an impossible alien intruder. While modern readers might notice period-specific tropes, such as 1950s high school archetypes and casual mid-century attitudes toward strip tease dancers, these elements only add to its historical flavor rather than diminishing its fun. What stays with you is the brilliant framing device at both ends of the narrative—revealing that our momentous scientific breakthrough was merely an alien child's casual toy experiment—leaving a lingering, cosmic chuckle that resonates long after the final page.