Buzz a Buzz

In Short

This illustrated rhyming tale presents a satirical look at human folly and natural chaos through the lens of a mismanaged apiary. Johnny Dull attempts to profit from his bees, only to prompt a full hive revolt. Meanwhile, his nephew Eugene sneaks after forbidden sweetness, and the local schoolmaster courts Dull's daughter Christine. Rich in slapstick humor, wild animal encounters, and comic mishaps, the story pairs playful verses with detailed commentary on apiculture and classical folklore. It has endured as an entertaining cross between a nursery rhyme, a satirical caricature, and an eccentric guide for practical bee-keepers.

The Story

Johnny Dull keeps bees, though he understands little about their true nature. His routine is first upended when his impoverished pig wanders near the bee-house to scratch an itch. The enraged swarm attacks the animal, stinging it until its swollen hide makes it appear plump and heavy. A passing pig-jobber promptly buys the miraculously enlarged porker for ten pounds ten, leading Dull to rejoice in his sudden luck.

His fortune is short-lived. Neglecting his duties, Dull falls asleep beside the hive with a pipe of stale tobacco in his mouth. Offended by the fumes and weary of having their honey stolen, the bees convene to hear their Queen denounce their master as a honey thief and a "Bee-i-cide." Promptly swarming, the insects march out carrying provision packs. Dull awakens, attempts a rescue, and climbs a ladder to capture the swarm in a hive. The rungs snap beneath him, sending the bees scattering into the sky. A chaotic village chase ensues: local boys use dirt squirts, a chimney sweep drops soot from above, an old woman brandishes her mop, and a bystander fires a gun, yet the swarm escapes over the church roof. Determined to conquer the problem, Dull resolves to construct a set of colossal straw hives.

Parallel to Dull’s trouble runs the romance between his daughter, Christine, and the neighborhood schoolmaster, Richard Dean. While plucking herbs and flowers in the garden, Christine is spied upon by Dull’s mischievous, green nephew, Eugene. The lad steals a kiss, earning a immediate beating from Dean’s stick. Dean then woos Christine, securing an evening rendezvous behind the bee-house. Eugene overhears their plan and plots his revenge.

Driven by a relentless craving for sweet treats, Eugene hunts for honey in the nearby woods. Finding a hollow beech tree filled with wild comb, he climbs up, loses his footing, and plunges feet-first into the sticky store. A wandering dancing bear named Bruin arrives, seeking the same sweetness. As Bruin climbs into the tree trunk, Eugene grabs the bear’s hind legs and uses the animal as a living ladder to pull himself free. Dull arrives at the scene, panics at the sight of the bear, and cuts off his own coat-tail to escape.

Eugene’s appetite only worsens. He repeatedly smokes out his uncle’s hives to steal comb until the bees attack, forcing him to leap into a water pond. A doctor subsequently diagnoses Eugene with a frog in his liver, fishing it out through his throat using a bee impaled on a hook. Later, Eugene disguises himself as a clawed ghost to steal a honey pot from his sleeping uncle's bedroom shelf, greedily devouring the stolen feast in his garret.

The narrative culminates back at the bee-house during Dean and Christine’s nightly meeting. A tall honey thief arrives to steal Dull's oversized hives. Dean and Christine hide inside the empty straw structures. When the thief hoists the hive containing Dean, the schoolmaster traps the thief’s head, pinning him with a stick. Meanwhile, Bruin inspects the second hive, allowing Christine to capture the bear by looping a stick through his nose-ring. Dull and the villagers arrive to discover the captured culprits. Dull gives his blessing to Christine and Dean, while the night watch hauls off the honey thief and the bear-leader reclaims Bruin. The story closes on May Day night with the Queen Bee’s royal ball, where insect couples waltz, drink, and revel until an owl arrests two intoxicated cockchafers.

How It Unfolds

The hive revolts The industrious bees work under their Queen while drones sleep and smoke pipes. When Johnny Dull snores nearby and fills the air with foul pipe smoke, the Queen rallies her subjects to abandon the hive and escape their master's honey-stealing habits.

The village pursuit Dull attempts to recapture the fleeing swarm using a wooden ladder, but the rungs break and spill him to the ground. The entire village—including a soot-covered sweep, boys with dirt squirts, and an old woman with a mop—fails to stop the insects as they fly over the church roof.

Love and jealous tricks Christine gathers flowers in the garden while thinking of her suitor, the schoolmaster Richard Dean. After Dean chases off Dull's mischievous nephew Eugene for stealing an unwanted kiss, the lovers arrange a secret late-night meeting behind the bee-house.

The bear in the hollow tree Eugene searches the woods for wild honey, falls into a hollow tree, and gets stuck feet-first in honeycombs. When Bruin the dancing bear climbs down to eat, Eugene grabs the bear's legs to haul himself out, while Johnny Dull flees the scene in terror.

The frog inside Eugene Eugene continues to raid his uncle's hives until the angry swarm stings him from head to toe, driving him to jump into a pond. Fallling ill afterward, he requires a doctor to fish a live frog out of his throat using a bee on a hook.

Capture at the monster hives A tall thief tries to steal Dull's new oversized straw hives, unaware that Christine and Dean are hiding inside them. Dean traps the thief using his hive, while Christine subdues the roaming bear Bruin by pinning his nose-ring with a stick.

The Queen's midnight ball With the lovers united and the thief arrested, the focus shifts to May Day night in the garden. The Queen Bee hosts a grand court dance featuring insect musicians, waltzing beetles, and an unsparing owl who arrests two drunken cockchafers.

The People

• Johnny Dull: An eccentric, easily distracted bee-keeper who prefers sleeping and smoking his pipe to proper apiary care. He wants to harvest maximum honey with minimal effort, but his clumsy schemes—like building oversized straw hives—constantly backfire. Through endless mishaps, he remains resilient, ultimately celebrating his daughter's marriage.

• Christine: Dull's dutiful and romantic daughter. She spends her mornings gathering herbs for soup and dreaming of her lover, Richard Dean. When confronted by thieves and wild animals, she proves remarkably resourceful, using a wooden stick to capture a full-sized bear by its nose-ring.

• Richard Dean: The local schoolmaster and Christine's devoted suitor. He combines classical learning with practical action, quoting Virgil one moment and using a walking stick to drive away pesky rivals or trap a honey thief the next. He wins Christine's hand after helping secure the home.

• Eugene: Dull's rogue fifteen-year-old nephew. Driven by an insatiable appetite for honey and a knack for mischief, he constantly sneaks into forbidden places. Whether trapped in a hollow tree, stung by swarms, or subjected to weird medical procedures, his misadventures provide constant disruption to the village.

• Bruin: A local dancing bear with a powerful sweet tooth. Wandering loose in search of food, he unwittingly serves as a rescue ladder for Eugene before getting tricked, poked, and captured by Christine in the garden.

In Its Own Voice

"The sentinels, in armour bright, / Keep watch and ward throughout the night; / And drive away, constrained by oath, / The mice, and toads, and Death's head moth."

The narrator opens the story by describing the disciplined, military precision with which the worker bees guard their home against nocturnal invaders.

"His hide he scratched; the bees rushed out, / And stung him well from tail to snout-- / Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! poor piggie cried, / Feeling these daggers pierce his hide."

When Dull's lean pig rubs against the hive, the resulting sting-induced swelling unexpectedly transforms the lean animal into a valuable, plump specimen.

"The flies he blows the shrill trompette, / The gnat the softer clarionette; / The grasshopper, a fiddler he-- / The drummer is the bumble bee."

During the Queen Bee's grand May Day festival, the garden insects assemble a full orchestra to play for the dancing beetles.

What It's Really About

Beneath its slapstick surface, the book contrasts the chaotic self-interest of humans with the orderly, purposeful labor of nature. The bees operate within a disciplined, highly functional society, working in harmony for the collective good of their queen and colony. In contrast, the human characters are governed by short-sighted greed, laziness, and unchecked appetite. Johnny Dull expects passive wealth without proper stewardship, Eugene steals what he has not earned, and the honey thief seeks to plunder the work of others entirely. The narrative suggests that human clumsiness inevitably disrupts natural harmony, yet nature continuously adapts, defends itself, and thrives regardless of human foolishness.

Why Read It Today

This volume appeals to readers who enjoy Victorian nonsense verse, classical caricature, and historical oddities. Reading it feels like flipping through a colorful, nineteenth-century picture book filled with theatrical rhyming couplets, dry British humor, and sudden bouts of physical comedy.

What lingers most is the unique structure of the text: the narrative poem is paired directly with extensive, highly personal author notes. These notes range from practical instructions on bar-frame hive construction and sting remedies to personal anecdotes about Crimean war encampments, Spanish nightingales, and classical Latin poetry.

Readers should be prepared for period sensibilities, including lighthearted portrayals of corporal punishment, crude medical remedies, and deliberate mock-heroic doggerel. The language relies heavily on mid-Victorian slang and rhyming tricks designed to fit foreign visual cuts. For those interested in the history of apiculture or traditional mid-19th-century humor, it offers a distinct, warm-hearted window into an era when science, poetry, and slapstick easily shared the same page.