Chicken Farm

In Short

Harvey, an abrupt and Cosmos-minded space prospector, falls instantly for a chubby Martian hotel receptionist named Anna. After hastily proposing, he leaves to claim an unclaimed perpendicular asteroid he names Plymouth, shaking down a major shipping firm to terraform it. Meanwhile, Anna doubts him and flees to Oregon. Harvey tracks her down, marries her, and brings her to Plymouth, only to find the low-gravity environment has caused the imported chickens to multiply into an overwhelming, feathered avalanche. It endures as a charmingly eccentric mid-century science fiction fable of unconventional romance and poultry.

The Story

Harvey enters the Hotel de Mars after a long space haul, immediately fixing his steel-colored eyes on Anna Christina Morley, a receptionist originally from Oregon. With total deadpan sincerity, he declares his intention to marry her, though he plans to leave within the hour to explore the solar system. Before departing, he secures a passionate kiss and leaves her bewildered, angry, and strangely captivated by his eccentric confidence.

Out in deep space, Harvey tracks down a rare perpendicular or "perp" planetoid measuring just under five hundred miles across. Recognizing its orbit will inevitably intersect with the shipping lanes of the powerful Gramenger & Lewis firm, he heads to Luna and Earth to legally claim the rock as "Plymouth." Armed with precise mathematical calculations and a small bag of actual soil from the asteroid, he confronts the shipping tycoon Gramenger and his corporate lawyer. Threatening a catastrophic atomic wash lawsuit unless they clear his path, Harvey leverages his legal proof of natural soil to force the company into fully terraforming the planetoid. Gramenger must install advanced gravitic, atmospheric, and water-transmuting machinery, alongside paying a ten thousand credit cash settlement.

Victorious, Harvey calls Anna from Venus to announce his bold plans for a cosmic chicken farm, instructing her to wire her father for foundational Plymouth Rock hens. Though stunned and exasperated, Anna complies and resolves to wait out his ten-month timeline. Harvey returns to Plymouth with a crew of human builders, lumber, and the prized chickens, rapidly transforming the frozen rock into a lush, normal-gravity sanctuary. By experimenting with lowered gravity on subsequent generations of chickens and crops, he discovers he can dramatically accelerate their growth, producing monstrously large, tender, and prolific birds alongside fast-maturing corn and wheat.

When Harvey finally returns to Mars ahead of schedule, he discovers Anna has left, convinced by star atlases and the passage of time that he fabricated the entire planet out of thin air. Undeterred by her departure, Harvey traces her across light-years to a drugstore counter in Oregon, sweeps her into a hasty marriage, and whisks her back into the cosmos. Upon sighting Plymouth through the viewport, Anna is entranced, but their homecoming reveals a staggering ecological quirk. In the absence of natural enemies and under the influence of optimized gravitational conditions, the chickens have multiplied into a colossal, sky-darkening cloud of feathers and clucking life that blankets the entire terrain. Confronted with this overwhelming, snow-like sea of poultry, Harvey calmly concludes that they must step in as the chickens' natural enemies to finally make their venture pay off.

How It Unfolds

The Martian encounter Harvey arrives at the Hotel de Mars from a long space haul and startles a chubby receptionist named Anna with a blunt, immediate marriage proposal. After explaining his philosophy and sharing a peculiar dinner, he kisses her and departs into space for ten months, leaving her torn between frustration and fascination.

Claiming the asteroid Searching far above the plane of the ecliptic, Harvey discovers a tiny, frozen perpendicular planet and realizes its orbital path threatens upcoming shipping liner routes. He travels to Earth and legally registers the rock as Plymouth, armed with a small bag of genuine surface soil.

The corporate shakedown Harvey confronts shipping magnate Gramenger and his skeptical lawyer, proving the asteroid counts as planetary farmland due to its soil sample. Faced with a ruinous lawsuit, the corporation capitulates, funding extensive terraforming machinery and a cash settlement to move the planet out of harm's way.

The space-ranch takes shape Harvey imports lumber, supplies, and foundational Plymouth Rock chickens to his new world, utilizing adjustable gravity generators to supercharge crop yields and accelerate poultry breeding. The adjustments create massive, fast-maturing birds and rich soil that turns the barren rock into an emerald sanctuary.

The reunion and the avalanche Discovering Anna has fled back to Oregon out of disbelief during his absence, Harvey hunts her down, marries her on the spot, and brings her to Plymouth. They arrive to find the planet completely overrun by an astronomical sea of chickens, forcing the newlyweds to embrace their new roles as the flock's natural enemies.

The People

Harvey is an abrupt, Cosmos-minded prospector driven by singular purpose, cold logic, and an absolute lack of humor. He wants a permanent home, a wife, and an interstellar chicken empire, viewing human relationships through the lens of astrology and numerology. Nothing fundamentally deters him, and he ends up triumphant, successfully mastering gravity and claiming both his planetary farm and his reluctant bride.

Anna Christina Morley is a warm, blue-eyed, chubby former Oregon resident who came to Mars to escape orthodox small-town life. She wants genuine romance, connection, and eventually her own chicken ranch, but her primary obstacle is Harvey's jarring, breakneck pace and his seemingly impossible ten-month disappearance. Though she briefly doubts him and flees back to Earth, she ultimately yields to his singular magnetism, marrying him and finding herself plunged into an absurdly literal chicken empire.

Gramenger is a powerful, self-satisfied shipping tycoon who wants to protect his corporate schedules and avoid financial liability. His obstacle is Harvey's airtight legal threat regarding atomic wash and hidden soil samples. Outmaneuvered, Gramenger ends up humbled, forced to finance the terraforming of a random asteroid just to keep his luxury liners safe.

The unnamed corporate lawyer serves as Gramenger's analytical shield, relying on rigid legal definitions of planetary farmland. His barrier is Harvey's literal bag of dirt, which completely upends his legal assumptions and leaves him complicit in funding an interplanetary agricultural scheme.

In Its Own Voice

Reflecting his total lack of conventional charm, Harvey bluntly outlines his immediate romantic intentions to Anna at the registration desk.

"I have no sense of humor," he repeated with great patience. "As you grow to know me, you will understand that. It will be no deterrent to our romance, however; I have other qualities."

When pushed by the corporate lawyer regarding the strict legal definitions of space property, Harvey introduces his undeniable physical proof.

"But if it did have soil, natural, original surface soil."

Expressing her deep exasperation over his abrupt departure and erratic communication, Anna confronts Harvey across interplanetary space.

"What makes you think you can talk fifteen minutes with a girl, have her fall in love with you, assume she'll go crazy waiting for you, waiting ten months--when four months have already passed without hearing from you--"

What It's Really About

The story explores the tension between cold, mathematical pragmatism and the unpredictable, messy nature of human emotion. Harvey treats romance, astrology, numerology, and interplanetary law with the exact same deadpan, systematic rigor, reducing life's complexities into equations to be solved. Beneath its whimsical premise, the narrative questions how civilization expands into the cosmos, suggesting that human settlement requires more than corporate infrastructure and terraforming machinery—it requires life, chaos, and domesticity. The juxtaposition of high-tech space engineering with old-fashioned poultry farming serves as a satirical examination of frontier ambition, where grand cosmic claims ultimately boil down to the basic, down-to-earth struggle of managing an unmanageable flock of chickens.

Why Read It Today

Readers who appreciate quirky mid-century science fiction featuring deadpan humor, eccentric protagonists, and wildly imaginative world-building will find plenty to love here. Reading the story feels like stepping into a brisk, playful tall tale told with utter, poker-faced seriousness, where corporate boardrooms collide with backyard farming. Modern readers should be prepared for some dated period elements, such as casual reliance on astrological compatibility and traditional gender dynamics where a strong-willed man abruptly dictates terms to a bewildered woman. However, Rocklynne's crisp pacing and absurd central premise prevent the story from feeling heavy-handed. What stays with you long after finishing is the unforgettable image of an emerald asteroid floating in the black void, completely choked by an endless, snow-like cloud of giant low-gravity chickens. It is a delightfully silly, warm, and thoroughly unique science fiction gem that rewards anyone looking for something entirely off the beaten path of traditional space opera.