Hoiman and the Solar Circuit

In Short

This science fiction short story centers on Hoiman Katz, a disheveled and opportunistic manager who travels the solar system looking for easy marks to pit against his aging wrestler, Ray. As they hop from the Moon to Venus and finally to Mars, Hoiman’s lack of cultural awareness leads to increasingly chaotic, failed promotional stunts. It is a punchy, humorous piece of 1950s pulp fiction that captures the era’s fascination with space travel through the grit of a street-smart, fast-talking grifter who is never quite as clever as he thinks.

The Story

Larry Maloney, a reporter, sits in a bar trying to enjoy a steak when he is joined by Hoiman Katz, a man he has known for years. Hoiman, threadbare and desperate, begins to weave a tale of his recent travels. He explains that back on Earth, he and his wrestler, Ray, had a lucrative run during the fifties and sixties thanks to Ray’s signature move, the "pretzel bend." However, as Ray aged, they were beaten too often, and Hoiman, unwilling to give up the "big dough," decided to take their act into space.

Their first stop is the Moon, where Hoiman manages to organize a match against a strong but unskilled miner. By controlling the fight's pacing, they secure enough money to head to Venus. On Venus, they encounter the "dustlanders," alien creatures with expressive-less faces and wide, flat eyes. The aliens are fascinated by wrestling, but Ray eventually grows unsettled by their silent, unblinking stares. When Ray begins losing matches to younger, faster opponents, Hoiman decides it is time to move on to Mars.

On Mars, Hoiman encounters a civilization that is physically unique, possessing four arms, and culturally volatile. He manages to arrange a match against a local fighter in the town of Meekweek. The venue is illuminated by indigenous, saucer-shaped insects that generate light by spinning in the air. Hoiman warns Ray to watch out for the Martian’s extra limbs, but the match quickly descends into confusion. After Ray wins the third fall, the atmosphere turns hostile. The Martians perceive the aerial "pinwheel" spin Ray used on their fighter as a profound insult, signaling a lack of respect for their own culture—which values groundedness over flight.

The lights—the spinning insects—abruptly drop to the ground and die, leaving the arena in darkness. Hoiman and Ray barely escape the enraged crowd. They are eventually detained by the Colony Administrator, who strips them of their earnings as a penalty for disrupting trade relations. Hoiman concludes his story as a broken man, having lost his status, his money, and his career. He leaves Larry in the bar, still looking for his next meal, while Larry remains behind, amused by the absurdity of the man’s life.

How It Unfolds

The encounter at the bar Larry is interrupted by the arrival of Hoiman, a familiar figure of failure. Hoiman immediately claims the reader’s attention by mooching cigarettes and complaining about the state of modern wrestling.

A trajectory of decline Hoiman recounts his history of "woiking" the wrestling circuit across the solar system to maintain his lifestyle. His narrative style is boastful yet self-defeating, highlighting his reliance on his wrestler, Ray.

The Martian promotion Hoiman describes the bizarre, primitive conditions of Mars and his ill-fated attempt to promote a match between Ray and a four-armed Martian. He ignores the warnings of the local administrator, focusing only on the potential profit.

The collapse of the circuit The climax arrives when the "flying light" insects are insulted by the wrestling choreography, leading to a riot. Hoiman and Ray lose everything, including their dignity and their remaining funds.

The final exit The story closes with Hoiman leaving the bar after finishing the narrator's french fries. His departure reinforces his character as a perpetual scavenger, unimpressed by his own catastrophic failures.

The People

Hoiman Katz is the story’s driving force. He is a small-time grifter who masks his insecurity with bravado. He desperately wants to be a successful promoter, but he views every human and alien interaction solely through the lens of potential profit. By the end, he is unchanged, still looking for the next handout.

Ray, the wrestler, is the silent, aging tool of Hoiman’s ambition. He is a man who was once a champion but is now simply a tired performer following orders. He is weary of the violence and the strange alien audiences, yet he lacks the agency to break free from Hoiman’s management.

Larry Maloney acts as the audience surrogate, a cynical observer who understands exactly what Hoiman is. He is entertained by the story but clearly recognizes the pathetic reality hidden beneath Hoiman’s boastful tales.

Sherry, the barmaid, is a foil to both men. Her naiveté regarding wrestling highlights the difference between those who romanticize the spectacle and those like Larry and Hoiman who see the grubby reality behind the scenes.

In Its Own Voice

"Hoiman Katz," he said, in dejected tones. "It is me, again. The same as like always, only not so better."

The narrator encounters his old acquaintance, whose arrival marks the beginning of the story’s long, rambling confession.

"They lifted Hoiman's scratch, thus causing him to lose much smoosh. So he grabbed his bum and hit the high orbit."

The opening passage uses the character's specific, rhythmic slang to establish the stakes of his financial ruin and his desperate flight into space.

What It's Really About

At its core, this is a story about the arrogance of the exploiter. Hoiman views the universe as a series of markets to be conquered, never stopping to consider the cultures or values of those he intends to profit from. His repeated failures on the Moon, Venus, and Mars stem from his inability to see aliens as anything other than "bums" to be manipulated. The story argues that such narrow-mindedness inevitably leads to obsolescence. Hoiman is a relic of a past era, unable to adapt to a changing galaxy, and his insistence on sticking to his old tricks—like the "pretzel bend"—demonstrates a stubborn, almost tragic refusal to learn from his own history.

Why Read It Today

Readers who enjoy the sharp, rhythmic patter of mid-century pulp fiction will find this a fascinating relic. The prose is thick with a distinct, invented dialect that gives the story a specific, noir-adjacent flavor; it feels like a hardboiled detective story that has been accidentally launched into orbit.

However, the story is not for everyone. The heavy use of slang requires a bit of patience, and the casual, dated attitudes toward gender and race reflect the period in which it was written. Hoiman himself is a difficult figure to root for—he is a thief, a mooch, and an egoist—yet there is a undeniable, dark comedy in his perpetual state of failure. You read this not for the science fiction world-building, which is kept intentionally silly, but for the character study of a man who is a master of his own destruction. It leaves you with a vivid, lingering image of a small, pathetic man prowling for crumbs in a universe that has long since stopped caring about his schemes.