Josiah's Alarm, and Abel Perry's Funeral

In Short

Marietta Holley’s comic tales center on Samantha Allen, a sharp-witted nineteenth-century homemaker who observes her husband Josiah and their extended relatives succumb to extravagant panic. In the first story, Josiah terrorizes himself over a tiny, inefficient furnace he believes will cause winter sunstrokes, only for it to nearly freeze them out before they discover it is built from George Washington's old potash kettle. In the second, distant relations visit and bankrupt themselves throwing an excessively grandiose funeral for a hardworking son-in-law, ultimately losing everything to debt. The book endures through its timeless satire of human vanity and domestic folly.

The Story

Josiah Allen purchases an unusually small furnace for their new house, setting off a chain of elaborate fears. Prompted by an anxious agent, Josiah worries the heater will cause fatal heat prostration, forces Samantha to prepare thin summer clothing, and calculates wild schemes to sell his winter garments and heat the barn. When winter arrives, the tiny furnace proves completely inadequate, leaving the house freezing, burning through four tons of coal, and causing Samantha to fall dangerously ill with a severe cold. After weeks of suffering, they finally replace it with a proper, large-sized heater that warms the home successfully. Shortly after, Josiah discovers the old furnace core was actually an antique potash kettle used by George Washington, an absurd belief he stubbornly clings to despite Samantha's skepticism.

Later in the winter, distant relatives named Abel Perry and his wife arrive unexpectedly to visit, having found inspiration in Samantha's book. Abel is intensely enthusiastic and prone to grandiose schemes, traits that endear him to Josiah. After a pleasant stay featuring a roasted turkey, the Allens promise to return the visit after sugarin'. When they arrive at the Perrys' home, they find the family in deep mourning because S. Annie, Abel and Sally Ann's only daughter, has just lost her hardworking young lawyer husband to typhus.

Instead of grieving quietly, Abel and S. Annie pour their energy into an extravagantly expensive funeral designed to impress the neighborhood. They order copious amounts of heavy crape, multiple flower arrangements including a large book and the deceased's full name spelled out in blossoms, and eleven mourning coaches. Samantha gently protests the ruinous expense, pointing out that S. Annie and her three small children are left with meager savings meant for a home, but Abel dismisses her warnings in favor of public show and respect.

The funeral proceeds in a drenching rain with a lengthy, tedious sermon and expensive singers. Shortly afterward, Abel contracts with monument makers for an excessively tall, expensive gravestone featuring winding poetry. Predictably, the funeral costs and the monument's price completely consume the life insurance money and force the sale of the family's possessions. Compounded by failing mortgages, Abel’s financial ruin is absolute. By winter, Abel, Sally Ann, S. Annie, and the children find themselves destitute and carried to the county house, passing the uninstalled monument lying by the side of the road like a great white shape.

How It Unfolds

The great furnace panic Josiah falls under the spell of a nervous agent who warns that their new furnace will generate overwhelming tropical heat. Terrified of winter prostration, Josiah tries to sell his heavy winter clothes and plots wild market garden schemes to utilize the surplus warmth.

The freezing reality When cold weather finally strikes, the tiny furnace fails entirely, plunging the house into bitter cold and devouring tons of coal. Samantha and a hired helper nearly perish from the chill, forcing Samantha to move into a room with a wood stove where she contracts a severe, life-threatening cold.

George Washington's kettle After weeks of illness, the family replaces the weak heater with a proper furnace that successfully warms the home and fools their houseplants into thinking it is June. While clearing out the old iron, Josiah becomes entirely convinced that the furnace body is George Washington's original potash kettle mended with old wire.

The unexpected relatives Abel Perry and his wife arrive out of nowhere after reading Samantha's book, establishing a distant kinship through a convoluted family tree. They charm Josiah with their enthusiasm, enjoy a roasted turkey dinner, and extract a firm promise from the Allens to visit them later in the season.

The grand mourning display Arriving for a visit, the Allens find the Perrys preparing a lavish, high-end funeral for S. Annie's late husband, Harrison. Ignoring Samantha's practical warnings, Abel and S. Annie commission expensive crape wardrobes, multiple floral monuments, and an entire fleet of empty mourning coaches to ensure maximum local prestige.

The final ruin Despite the family's desperate financial vulnerability, Abel purchases an exorbitantly expensive monument featuring winding poetry and carved wreaths. The massive funeral and monument expenses, combined with collapsing mortgages, strip the family of everything and land them in the county poorhouse by winter.

The People

• Samantha Allen acts as the voice of calm, practical reason throughout both misadventures. She wants her household to remain sensible and safe, but stands blocked by the wild flights of fancy belonging to the men around her. She emerges unchanged in her sharp common sense, continuing to offer dry, grounded wisdom.
• Josiah Allen is easily swayed by enthusiastic salesmen and grandiose ideas. He wants to be clever and modern, whether by mastering a revolutionary furnace or discovering presidential history, but his gullibility constantly lands him in physical and mental distress. He remains devoted to his wild theories to the very end.
• Abel Perry is an intensely enthusiastic, show-obsessed relative. He wants social standing and outward prestige above all else, letting a desperate need for neighborhood approval blind him to financial reality. His stubborn vanity ultimately destroys his family's security.
• S. Annie is Abel's daughter, who shares her father's affinity for show and ornamentation. Distraught by her husband's death, she channels her grief into expensive mourning rituals and crape wardrobes, ending up stripped of her home and shelter.
• Harrison was S. Annie's late husband, a hardworking lawyer driven by a quiet, dedicated dream to buy a safe little home for his wife and children. Standing in his way were exhaustion and untimely death, yet his brave, honest character remained untainted by the show around him.

In Its Own Voice

How it would look to have a sunstroke in the winter!

Josiah expresses his exaggerated fear of the new furnace's heating capacity to Samantha before it is even installed.

Ton after ton vanished like tales that wuz told, into its insatiable mouth.

Samantha describes the furnace's voracious appetite for coal during the mild autumn weather.

It wuz a good face, and the worryment and care that folks told me had been on it for years had all faded away.

Samantha reflects on Harrison's peaceful expression as she views his body before the lavish funeral begins.

What It's Really About

The narratives explore the destructive power of human pretense, gullibility, and the desperate need for social validation. Holley targets the absurdity of prioritizing outward display over genuine substance, whether through Josiah's obsessive chasing of fraudulent inventions or Abel's willingness to sacrifice his family's survival for an impressive funeral and monument. Beneath the domestic comedy lies a sharp critique of economic foolishness, showing how easily ordinary people are manipulated by salesmen, fashion, and community opinion. The stories question the true meaning of respect, contrasting the quiet, honest labor of a man like Harrison with the hollow, performative grief engineered by his relatives.

Why Read It Today

Readers who love nineteenth-century homespun humor, rich dialect, and sharp social satire will find immense charm in Holley’s writing. Reading Josiah’s Alarm, and Abel Perry’s Funeral feels like sitting across from a wise, witty storyteller who sees right through human pomposity with affectionate clarity. What stays with you is Samantha’s dry voice and the vivid portrait of human stubbornness—from Josiah arguing with a piece of scrap iron to Abel’s tragic march toward financial ruin. Modern readers must navigate nineteenth-century period attitudes, lengthy narrative digressions, and thick vernacular spelling, but the rewards are well worth the effort. The humor remains surprisingly fresh, and Samantha’s sharp observations offer a timeless antidote to modern self-importance.