Magpie's night-bear

In Short

Set along an unnamed creek in Western Montana, this lighthearted Western short story follows two prospectors, the narrator and Magpie Peters, whose remote cabin life is upended by an enormous, music-loving bear. After a chaotic midnight rampage involving flying flour sacks, tangled bedding, and a runaway phonograph, the duo discovers that their uninvited guest was actually an escaped, military-trained animal. Written with folksy regional humor, the tale captures the absurdities of frontier life and has endured as a classic piece of early twentieth-century pulp fiction.

The Story

The story begins with two prospecting partners, the narrator and Magpie Peters, living in a rough cabin on a nameless creek in Western Montana, which they have jokingly dubbed "Plenty Stone Creek." Their pride and joy is an expensive phonograph that Magpie bought during a rare spree in town, a machine that draws envious sourdoughs from miles around. Because Magpie suffers from a remarkably loud snore, the narrator sleeps on the floor or up in the loft to get some rest. One night, after a long listening session, they leave the phonograph on the floor and go to sleep.

The narrator wakes to the sound of the cabin door slowly creaking open. A gigantic bear steps inside, prompting the narrator to scramble hastily up into the storage loft to save his skin. Meanwhile, Magpie sleeps soundly on through the initial disturbance. The bear bumps into the stove, knocks over the cupboard, and accidentally triggers a rocking-chair that smacks it from behind. Whimpering like a child, the bear investigates Magpie's bed and tries to climb up. Fearing for his partner's safety, the narrator hurls a fifty-pound sack of flour from the loft, hitting the bear and blinding the room in white dust.

The commotion startles Magpie awake, who shouts at the bear to get off his face. As the animal tries to back away, its claws tangle in the blankets, flipping the entire bed over. What follows is a frantic, destructive marathon around the room. The narrator lobs a sack of beans at the bear but accidentally clocks Magpie on the head instead, earning a torrent of curses. The bear gets a baby's high-chair stuck around its neck, which in turn knocks Magpie's rifle off the wall into the chaotic procession.

Just as the bear pauses, glares at Magpie, and prepares for a final charge, it accidentally sits down on the dormant phonograph. A bugle plays, a mechanical voice barks military commands, and the machine starts drumming. Responding instantly to its training, the bear snatches up Magpie's rifle, stands on its hind legs like a man, and marches out of the cabin door. It heads down into the timber with the rifle over its shoulder and the high-chair trailing behind.

The next morning, nursing sore muscles and bruised pride, Magpie is in a foul mood and gripes about the narrator staying safe in the loft. Their neighbor Tellurium Woods drops by with fresh newspapers from town. Magpie spots a small advertisement describing a lost, trained black bear named Gladys that answers to the manual of arms and escaped from an express car at Granite. Realizing the truth, the narrator laughs, but Magpie wisely decides against pursuing the reward, noting that the rifle was loaded with soft-nose cartridges.

How It Unfolds

• The phonograph era — The partners establish their remote Montana camp, complete with an extravagant talking-machine that becomes the envy of the local hills.
• The midnight intruder — Awakened by a creaking door, the narrator scrambles into the loft while a massive grizzly wanders uninvited into the cabin.
• The flour-sack bombardment — Desperate to protect his snoring partner, the narrator pelts the bewildered animal with heavy provisions, touching off a wild room-wide melee.
• The mechanical salvation — The rampaging bear accidentally triggers the phonograph, hears a recorded military bugle, and obediently marches out the door with a rifle.
• The morning revelation — A local newspaper arrives the next day, revealing that their midnight visitor was actually an escaped, trained entertainment bear named Gladys.

The People

• The narrator — A practical, cautious prospector who prefers sleeping out of the line of fire and has a sharp eye for the absurdities of frontier life. He spends the midnight raid tossing provisions from the safety of the loft, balancing genuine concern for his partner with a helpless urge to laugh.
• Magpie Peters — An impulsive prospector given to buying expensive novelties and sporting a legendary snore. He takes the brunt of the bear's physical assault and spends the aftermath sore and grumpy, ultimately choosing caution over collecting a reward.
• Tellurium Woods — A neighboring prospector working nearby who stops by for grub and inadvertently brings the newspapers that solve the mystery of the midnight intruder.

In Its Own Voice

Magpie Peters read books on hypnotism fer a while and then went out and tried it on a bob-cat.

The narrator explains Magpie's penchant for eccentric hobbies before their adventures begin.

Holy mackinaw! I reckon he stood seven feet at th’ shoulder and was extra long fer his height!

The narrator measures up the terrifying scale of the unexpected guest filling their doorway.

Magpie argues that we’re both loco, and that it ain’t reasonable to suppose that any bear will come into a man’s home and mess things up thataway...

The partners try to rationalize the unbelievable wreckage left behind in the morning light.

What It's Really About

The story explores the collision between civilized eccentricities and the wild frontier. Through the absurd image of a trained entertainment bear responding to a phonograph in a remote mountain cabin, the narrative plays with the theme of the unexpected intrusion of culture into isolation. It questions what constitutes a normal existence when the bizarre is treated as an everyday hazard, highlighting how men in the wilderness must constantly recalibrate their sense of reality. Beneath the broad humor, it examines companionship, resilience, and the sheer unpredictability of life in the remote American West.

Why Read It Today

Readers who love classic Western humor, tall tales, and rich vernacular storytelling will find plenty to charm them here. Reading it feels like sitting by a campfire listening to an old-timer spin an impossible yarn with a completely straight face. The narrative voice is warm, self-deprecating, and effortlessly engaging, pulling you right into the cluttered, chaotic cabin alongside the two prospectors.

At the same time, modern readers should approach it with an awareness of its era. Written in 1915, the text relies heavily on stylized, phonetic frontier dialect and period slang that requires a little patience to decode. Furthermore, its casual depiction of handling wild and trained animals reflects early twentieth-century attitudes that differ sharply from modern perspectives on wildlife. Yet, for those willing to lean into its unique rhythm and historical flavor, the payoff is a genuinely funny, fast-paced snapshot of a bygone storytelling tradition that leaves you smiling long after the final line.