Maiden Mona the Mermaid: A Fairy Play for Fairy People

In Short

This work is a Victorian-era “fairy play” written for a home performance. It follows the lighthearted, often absurd adventures of Prince Doodle and his brother Noodle, who navigate the schemes of a pompous Gnome King and the charms of a flirtatious mermaid named Mona. With its pun-heavy dialogue, musical interludes, and playful meta-theatrical tone, the piece captures the spirit of 19th-century parlor entertainment. It endures as a curious, charming snapshot of a specific, vanished moment of domestic performance culture, preserved for its gentle wit and historical novelty.

The Story

The story begins on a stormy Norway coast, where Prince Doodle is washed ashore after a shipwreck. He meets Mona, a mermaid who is bored with the stillness of her coral caves and finds the prospect of a human companion thrilling. Doodle reveals that he is an exile; his wicked uncle, the Gnome King, has usurped his throne and sent him away with a crew of forty-five geese, insisting he can only return when he holds a mermaid’s heart in his hand and finds a mountain filled with diamonds. Mona, instantly smitten, informs him that such a mountain exists nearby, controlled by the very Gnome King who cast him out.

Meanwhile, the Gnome King is struggling with a bankrupt treasury and an incompetent army, consisting only of the starving soldier Noodle and his bumbling officers. Desperate for funds, the King obsesses over taxes and attempts to woo the local flirt, Coquettina. Coquettina, however, is juggling the attentions of the General, the Captain, and the busy Rooster. Chaos ensues as they all attempt to hide from one another in her small cottage, eventually being frozen in place by the mysterious Fairy of the Forest.

In the forest, Noodle remains enchanted to a stone until his brother, Doodle, finds him. Their reunion is confirmed by a series of comically specific, ridiculous childhood memories involving spilled pap and strawberry marks. Mona arrives with the golden key to the diamond mountain, which she swiped from the King. With the Fairy’s magical intervention, the geese are transformed into a proper crew of sailors. The brothers load their sacks with diamonds and escape with Mona, deciding to retreat to the mermaid’s underwater realm.

The King and his staff eventually catch up, but the Fairy intervenes again, forcing the group to follow the protagonists into the sea. Once in the “Mermaid’s Haunt,” the characters find themselves in an underwater grotto. The romance between the officers and Coquettina fizzles out as each man makes excuses to avoid marriage, leaving Coquettina to declare her intent to join a “Ladies Club.” The Gnome King, now humbled by the loss of his key and his territory, remains cantankerous but powerless. Doodle and Mona, having navigated the absurdity of their situation, resolve to stand together, their quest for fortune and reunion successfully concluded.

How It Unfolds

The shipwreck Prince Doodle washes up on the rocks of the Norway coast, where he is discovered by the curious and bored mermaid, Mona. They quickly bond over the Prince's tale of exile, his uncle’s cruelty, and his impossible quest to reclaim his kingdom.

The budget crisis The scene shifts to the Gnome King, who frantically brainstorms absurd ways to tax his subjects to fill his empty treasury. He discovers that his army has dwindled to a single, starving soldier named Noodle, who has been left to guard a rock by the sea.

The cottage scramble Coquettina hosts a series of secret visits from her suitors, the General, the Captain, and the Rooster, all of whom must hide in cupboards, barrels, or tables when others arrive. The Fairy of the Forest eventually intervenes, using magic to freeze the group in a tangled, awkward tableau.

The brothers reunite Doodle and Noodle finally cross paths at a haunted tree, verifying their kinship through a ridiculous checklist of childhood habits. The Fairy grants them the means to break their enchantments, allowing the brothers to reclaim their agency.

The undersea escape The protagonists secure the diamond mountain’s key and transform the geese into a human crew to sail away. They retreat into the depths of the sea, where they are joined by the rest of the cast for a final, lighthearted resolution in the mermaid’s grotto.

The People

Prince Doodle is an earnest, slightly dim royal who views his exile with a mix of confusion and accidental heroism. He seeks to reclaim his throne but finds himself equally motivated by his growing affection for Mona. Mona the Mermaid is the emotional anchor of the play, characterized by her naivety and her desire to escape the “dull” silence of the deep sea. She provides the key to the brothers' success, evolving from a solitary, curious observer into an active participant in their rescue.

The Gnome King serves as the antagonist, though he is more pathetic than menacing. His obsession with taxation and his failed romantic pursuits highlight his loss of power. Noodle, the starving soldier, acts as a comic foil to his brother; he is defined by his long-suffering endurance of military drill and his bizarre, specific recollections of childhood. Coquettina is a quintessential flirt who manages her many suitors with practiced ease, ultimately rejecting them all in favor of her own independence. The Fairy of the Forest acts as the story's moral arbiter, using magic to nudge the characters toward their destinies and, occasionally, to punish their bad behavior.

In Its Own Voice

Describing her life beneath the waves, Mona laments the monotony of her existence:

“We hear no thunder far below the sea; / The mermaids’ haunt is still as still can be; / In fact it’s rather dull sometimes down there, / And so I come up here and comb my hair.”

Reflecting on his lack of luck in the military, Noodle highlights the absurdity of his service:

“I never get to mess, but into messes, / The General’s joint is when the loine he dresses.”

When the Gnome King realizes he has been outwitted by the mermaid, he expresses his frustration with a characteristically ridiculous threat:

“I have a charm will turn you all to stone.”

What It's Really About

At its core, the play explores the tension between duty and domestic freedom. The characters are constantly caught between their roles—as princes, soldiers, or kings—and their desire to simply enjoy the moment. The humor often hinges on the trivialization of "serious" adult concerns like taxation, military service, and marriage, suggesting that these social structures are essentially arbitrary and often absurd. The play poses the question of whether it is better to remain trapped in a rigid, hierarchical world or to embrace the "fishy", unconventional, and ultimately more liberated existence of the mermaid. It argues, with a wink, that a little bit of magic is often the only way to reconcile the "mess" of life.

Why Read It Today

This book is a delight for readers who appreciate the niche, historical charm of Victorian amateur drama. It is a work of pure "nonsense" in the vein of Lewis Carroll or Edward Lear, built upon rapid-fire puns, silly wordplay, and a theatrical sensibility that prioritizes fun over internal logic. You will find yourself smiling at the sheer audacity of a play that features a rocking horse as a royal steed and a budget crisis resolved by taxing babies.

However, the reader must be prepared for the realities of its era. It is a product of 1877; its humor relies on the specific, often dated, cultural references of the time, and its portrayal of characters can feel jarringly brief or stereotyped by modern standards. The dialogue is dense with wordplay that requires a patient ear, and the pacing is dictated by the needs of a parlor stage rather than a traditional novel. If you are looking for a complex, character-driven epic, this is not it. But if you want to spend an hour in a world where the sea is just a “lift in some hotel” and the mermaids are as concerned with their shoe size as they are with the fate of princes, it remains a charmingly eccentric read.