Once a Greech

In Short

Evelyn E. Smith's satire follows Captain Iversen and the crew of the S. S. Herringbone, a Terran exploration vessel preparing to return home after a long interstellar survey. When an inept junior officer discovers intelligent life on a moon named Flimbot, he brings aboard a small pink caterpillar called a greech. Misinterpreting the creature's subsequent transformations as proof of spiritual reincarnation, the crew embraces a bizarre alien theology. The narrative blends dry humor with space-opera tropes to send up human arrogance, pseudoscientific posturing, and the tragicomic tendency to mistake simple natural facts for mystical revelations.

The Story

The survey ship S. S. Herringbone, under the weary command of Captain Iversen, is completing a year-long mission in the Virago System. Just two weeks before departure, Lieutenant Harkaway—an incompetent officer posted to out-of-the-way duties—discovers intelligent life on Flimbot, the nineteenth moon of the system's eleventh planet. When Iversen arrives, he finds that Harkaway has adopted the local lifestyle, shedding his uniform for a loincloth and flower garlands while petting a furry pink caterpillar known as a greech. The native Flimbotzik appear gentle, humanoid, and primitive, living in harmony with a menagerie of whimsical animals. However, Iversen notes with suspicion that forty-five primitive spacecraft orbit the moon, proving the inhabitants possess technologies the crew does not yet understand.

Harkaway becomes obsessed with the Flimbotzik concept of mpoola, which he translates as a complex doctrine of spiritual reincarnation. Before the Herringbone departs, he brings the pet greech aboard without authorization. As the ship begins its long voyage back to Earth, the crew grows fascinated by Harkaway's draft manuscript on mpoola. They abandon meat and throw themselves into theological debates, driven partly by boredom and partly by the ship's mad, chronically intoxicated physician, Dr. Smullyan, who endlessly prophesies doom.

The voyage takes a dramatic turn when the greech forms a cocoon on the control board and emerges as a four-foot, winged creature called a zkoort. When the zkoort later disappears and leaves its wings behind in hydroponics, the crew mourns what they assume is the creature's death and spiritual ascension. Soon after, a roly-poly blue animal—a chu-wugg—appears in the mess hall, possessing the same personality. Captain Iversen realizes the truth: mpoola is not a religion at all, but a literal description of the native life cycle. The Flimbotzik fetus develops outside the body, undergoing successive metamorphoses through distinct animal stages. Harkaway did not learn a theology; he misread basic alien biology and unknowingly kidnapped an alien child.

The chu-wugg eventually transforms into a serpentine thor'glitch, which Iversen takes into his own quarters out of growing fondness. When the snake's midsection splits, a pale humanoid youth named Bridey steps out. Shortly after explaining that the Flimbotzik do not view his departure as an abduction, Bridey dies in Iversen's arms, and the crew gives him a spaceman's burial in open space. Shortly after, the ship runs out of fuel due to Dr. Smullyan storing stolen wine in the fuel tanks. Suddenly, the ship springs back to life, powered by a massive voice filling the corridors: Bridey has undergone his final metamorphosis into the Herringbone itself. Bound together by this revelation, the crew resolves to buy the ship from their employers and sail the galaxy together indefinitely.

How It Unfolds

An unwelcome discovery Captain Iversen learns that his least capable officer, Harkaway, has discovered intelligent life on the moon Flimbot just as their survey mission ends. Upon landing, Iversen finds Harkaway wearing an alien loincloth and cuddling a pink caterpillar called a greech.

A stowaway aboard the Herringbone Ignoring procedure, Harkaway smuggles the greech onto the ship, convincing himself that the gentle Flimbotzik will not mind. The crew quickly falls under the spell of Harkaway's writings on mpoola, an alien concept they believe to be a religion of soul transmigration.

Metamorphosis in deep space The greech spins a cocoon and emerges as a large, bright-winged butterfly called a zkoort, disrupting operations on the flight deck. After the zkoort vanishes, leaving only its wings, a blue monkey-like chu-wugg appears, shedding light on the creature's true nature.

The final human transformation Iversen takes the creature's next form—a serpentine thor'glitch—into his cabin, only for its body to split open and reveal a soft-spoken humanoid youth named Bridey. The captain realizes Harkaway misread an extraterrestrial developmental process as a spiritual philosophy.

An unexpected rebirth After Bridey dies and is buried in space, the ship loses power because the fuel tanks were emptied to store alien wine. Power is restored when Bridey manifests as the living intelligence of the spacecraft itself, binding the crew to a new life of permanent space exploration.

The People

• Captain Iversen is a rigid, long-serving commander who values procedure, order, and discipline above all else. Exhausted by the incompetence of his crew, he resists their mystical enthusiasm with dry cynicism, only to find himself protective of the changing alien life-form in his quarters.
• Lieutenant Harkaway is an overly earnest, incompetent young officer whose eagerness to prove himself leads to massive blunders. He mistakes his own superficial understanding of the Flimbotzi language for deep cultural mastery, unintentionally triggering an interstellar kidnapping while convinced he has discovered a high philosophy.
• Dr. Smullyan is the ship's cynical, heavily drinking physician. Convinced of humanity's inherent flaw and predictable doom, he spends the voyage consuming confiscated alien wine, offering theatrical, apocalyptic warnings that strangely border on prophecy.
• Bridey (The Greech) is the alien entity who passes through multiple physical stages—caterpillar, giant butterfly, mammal, serpent, and humanoid—before reaching his ultimate form. Gentle and playful throughout his changes, he eventually merges with the S. S. Herringbone to guide the crew through space.

In Its Own Voice

"Show me a life-form that loves animals, I always say, and--"

Harkaway defends his immediate trust of the Flimbotzik after observing their fond relationship with the local fauna.

"The concept of reincarnation had always been very appealing to the human mind, which would rather have envisaged itself perpetuated in the body of a cockroach than vanishing completely into nothingness."

The narrator observes how easily the weary crew embraces the alien doctrine during their long, monotonous journey home.

"I am the power... Not the glory, merely the power. I have reached a higher plane of existence. I am a spaceship."

Bridey announces his final transformation to the stranded officers over the ship's intercom.

What It's Really About

At its core, the story satirizes human pretension and the eagerness to project familiar philosophical desires onto unfamiliar realities. Harkaway and the crew are so desperate for mystical meaning that they build an entire theological movement around what is simply the biological lifecycle of an alien species. The narrative pokes fun at colonial assumptions, academic self-importance, and the bureaucratic absurdities of space exploration services that evaluate officers through written exams rather than practical competence. Beneath the absurd comedy lies a commentary on how human beings use conviction and belief to cope with isolation, boredom, and the terrifying scale of the cosmos.

Why Read It Today

Readers who enjoy classic, lighthearted mid-century science fiction will appreciate Evelyn E. Smith's sharp comic timing and dry wit. The story moves along at an entertaining pace, offering a clever subversion of first-contact tropes that feels fresh despite its period origin.

While the narrative relies on mid-twentieth-century sci-fi conventions—such as exaggerated character types, pseudo-scientific jargon, and deliberate absurdities—it avoids overly dense technical prose in favor of crisp dialogue and situational humor. The story's mild period quirks, including its broad caricatures of military hierarchy and theatrical philosophical speeches, only add to its vintage charm. It is an ideal read for anyone looking for a brief, amusing space satire that prioritizes sharp irony and character interaction over hard physics.