Perkins of Portland: Perkins The Great

In Short

Ellis Parker Butler’s Perkins of Portland: Perkins The Great is a lighthearted series of comedic adventures following an unstoppable advertising genius and his unnamed narrator-partner. Through wildly ambitious marketing schemes—ranging from cayenne-dusted fly-paper plasters and thousands of unsellable guinea pigs to an entire theatrical play designed purely as a commercial showcase—the duo exploits the public's appetite for slogans and free gifts. The book endures as a sharp, absurd, and remarkably prophetic satire of American consumerism, big promises, and the endless hustle of modern advertising.

The Story

The book opens in a Cleveland hotel where the narrator first encounters Mr. Perkins, a strangely dressed man wearing shoes with rubber soles and a hat fitted with side ventilators. Perkins immediately boasts of his past advertising successes and recruits the narrator to help pitch "Perkins's Patent Porous Plaster." The product is actually nothing more than sticky fly-paper cut into pieces, sprinkled with cayenne pepper, and punched with holes. Despite its dubious origin, the plaster sticks so stubbornly to users that it becomes a massive commercial hit, securing Perkins a fortune, a private yacht, and a firm reputation as an advertising mastermind.

Following this initial triumph, Perkins takes on a series of increasingly absurd promotional schemes. When his acquaintance Silas Boggs accidentally breeds a single pair of rare lop-eared guinea pigs, Perkins convinces him to advertise them heavily. The resulting demand far outstrips the supply, leaving Boggs overwhelmed by thousands of unfillable mail orders and cash returns long after the animals have gone extinct. Later, Perkins targets the medical market by bottling foul-smelling, sulfur-and-garlic-flavored spring water from a swamp to cure rheumatism. To drive sales, he offers free town lots in the swamp for collected bottle labels, flooding the nation with the slogan "Perkins pays the freight."

The pair continues to exploit consumer culture by launching a campaign to give away nickel-plated can-openers with canned goods, and by plotting out "Cloverdale," a theoretical ideal community where they hike land prices through imaginary amenities before a single building is erected. Turning to publishing, Perkins creates a massive promotional campaign for a book called "The Crimson Cord" long before securing an actual manuscript, eventually copyrighting the title across every conceivable household product to profit from the "aftermath."

Finally, Perkins tackles the theater by turning a dramatic stage production, "The Princess of Pilliwink," into a live advertising vehicle. Every line and prop in the play is leased to national brands, requiring actors to consume an endless array of sponsored food products on stage. When the cast rebels against eating ham, pickles, and thirteen varieties of breakfast cereal during every performance, Perkins ingeniously converts the post-show routine into a stage reception where the audience is invited to meet the actors and eat the sponsored food themselves, creating an absolute sensation.

How It Unfolds

The voyage begins The narrator meets Perkins in a hotel lobby, where the eccentric promoter unveils a rhythmically rhyming slogan for a porous plaster. They purchase wholesale stocks of sticky fly-paper, add cayenne pepper, and launch a wildly successful business that leaves customers permanently sticky.

The breeding boom Perkins convinces a modest owner of two rare lop-eared guinea pigs to run nationwide advertisements. The resulting deluge of mail orders swamps the owner, driving him to near-madness as he is forced to return piles of money orders long after the animals are gone.

The swamp water cure Reunited two years later, the duo bottles terrible-tasting sulfur spring water to market as a rheumatism remedy. They parcel out an uninhabitable swamp into free town lots for bottle-label redemptions while their catchy slogan sweeps the country's pop culture.

The town on paper Perkins drafts a grand map for a luxury, temperance-minded suburban town called Cloverdale, constantly raising lot prices with each added imaginary library or opera house. They hawk the undeveloped land through relentless circulars, guarantees, and free open-air vaudeville shows.

The literary trademark The pair aggressively advertises a mysterious book title, The Crimson Cord, before even obtaining a story to print. Perkins copyrights the title for shoes, cigars, and suspenders, ensuring a stream of royalties from every manufacturer capitalizing on the book's fame.

The commercial stage Perkins monetizes the theater by selling every minute of a four-hour play to corporate advertisers, forcing actors to use sponsored products on stage. When the cast strikes over eating excessive processed foods, Perkins pivots by turning the stage into a free post-show buffet for the audience.

The People

• Mr. Perkins (Perkins of Portland) wants to conquer the business world by turning every concept, word, and everyday object into a lucrative advertising scheme. Unfazed by product defects or absurd logistics, he remains endlessly optimistic, viewing human nature solely through the lens of consumer motivation and catchy phrasing.
• The Narrator wants financial gain and stable business ventures, yet he is repeatedly drawn into Perkins's eccentric plans. While initially playing the sensible, skeptical foil, he routinely becomes an enthusiastic accomplice once Perkins demonstrates the sheer profitability of his wild ideas.
• Silas Boggs wants only to quietly keep his pair of rare lop-eared guinea pigs. After being persuaded by Perkins to advertise them, he is utterly overwhelmed by the relentless wave of mail-order demand, ultimately ending up traumatized by the sight of cabbage leaves and animal shops.
• Kate wants romantic, soulful attention from her suitor, the narrator. However, her pragmatic side emerges when she shows far more interest in a poem calculating the quarter-million-dollar annual profits of pink codliver capsules than in conventional love verses.

In Its Own Voice

“Get a phrase built like a watch, press the button, and the babies cry for it.”

After revealing that his famous regional moniker is purely a promotional fabrication, Perkins explains his underlying philosophy that a perfectly crafted slogan carries irresistible commercial power.

“For an advertisement, like sin, does not end with the day, but goes on and on, down the mighty corridors of time...”

The narrator reflects on the lingering nightmare experienced by Silas Boggs as stray mail orders continue to arrive decades after an advertisement was published.

“What's a barn? So many square feet of ad. space. What's a magazine? So many pages of ad. space. What's a play? So many minutes of ad. space.”

Perkins outlines his vision for monetizing the dramatic arts, reducing theatrical narrative directly to measurable blocks of advertising inventory.

What It's Really About

Perkins of Portland serves as a satirical examination of modern commercialism and the artificial creation of consumer desire. At its core, the book argues that in a media-driven society, the perception, framing, and marketing of a product matter far more to the public than the actual quality or existence of the item itself. Through its exaggeration of aggressive sales tactics, the story questions the blind trust consumers place in catchy slogans, free giveaways, and grand brand promises. It highlights how easily public excitement can be manufactured out of thin air, exposing the absurd, self-sustaining machinery of early American corporate promotion.

Why Read It Today

Perkins of Portland is a breezy, genuinely funny read for anyone interested in comedy, the history of media, or the roots of modern advertising. Butler’s writing is fast-paced and razor-sharp, offering a deadpan delivery that makes the escalating absurdity of each hustle feel surprisingly plausible. Reading it today provides a fascinating visual of early twentieth-century American life, from the rise of popular magazines and vaudeville to the dawn of nationwide brand crazes.

Modern readers will easily spot the origins of today's viral marketing, influencer culture, and aggressive sponsorship tactics in Perkins’s antics. While the book reflects the casual vernacular and rapid-fire episodic format of period magazine fiction, its rhythmic dialogue and energetic pacing keep the material fresh. It leaves the reader with an amusing, lingering awareness of how little human nature has changed when faced with a clever pitch and the promise of something for nothing.