Polite Satires: Containing The Unknown Hand, The Volcanic Island, Square Pegs

In Short

Clifford Bax’s Polite Satires gathers three brief, rhymed one-act plays that poke fun at literary ambition, psychoanalytic fashion, and romantic nostalgia. Across each piece, pairs of modern women—or women bridging different centuries—lock horns over secret identities, modern psychology, and idealized lovers, only to discover that the grass is rarely greener on the other side. Through brisk, rhyming verse and witty banter, the collection captures the theatrical charm and cultural anxieties of early 1920s London. It remains an engaging period piece that exposes the enduring human habit of romanticizing what we do not have.

The Story

The collection opens with The Unknown Hand, set in a London flat where Juliet muses over her sudden, astounding literary success. Writing under the masculine pseudonym "Galahad Green," she has published Calypso and Her Loves, a scandalous tell-all novel that has taken the town by storm and drawn glowing reviews from real-world critics of the day. Her triumph is interrupted by her distressed friend Helen, who arrives convinced that she is the real-life inspiration for the book's scandalous heroine, Calypso. Helen is deeply mortified by the precise, unflattering details—from her green eyes down to her obsession with Morny bath-salts—and threatens to sue the author. Juliet, hoping to shield her own identity and soothe Helen, claims that she is actually the inspiration for Calypso and suffers from the same public disgrace. The argument flips when Helen reveals that, far from being ruined, she is thrilled by the notoriety of having nine thousand readers enamored with her wild persona. When Juliet finally confesses that she herself is Galahad Green, Helen forgives her instantly, eager only for her secret author friend to arrange a supper date with her new public image.

In The Volcanic Island, Dorothea Wylde deliberates over a marriage proposal sent via telegram by Sir James Adolphus Porter, a wealthy, middle-aged, and exceptionally dull man. Guided by her recent reading of Freud and Jung, Dorothea performs an impromptu spell to invoke her subconscious mind. Out steps "Dorothy Wild," a barbaric, feather-crowned inner persona who despises James's total lack of romance and insists on rejecting him. The two halves of the self duel with psychoanalytic jargon and sharp arguments: Dorothea defends the comfort, prestige, and quiet stability James offers, while Dorothy demands passion, poetry, and primitive freedom. After Dorothy attempts to stab Dorothea to prevent the marriage, they reach a compromise to co-author the reply telegram. Dorothy sneaks in a cheeky addition that ruins the acceptance, forcing Dorothea to realize the empty trap of the match. Reconciled, the conscious and subconscious selves toast to their newfound unity over a cup of tea.

The final play, Square Pegs, takes place in a magical garden where time paths intersect. Hilda, a modern twentieth-century woman, flees to the past to escape her unromantic lover Harry, whose proposal arrived in blunt, slang-heavy prose. There she meets Gioconda, a sixteenth-century Venetian lady escaping her own era’s exhausting grand gestures, endless duels, and flowery courtships. The two trade letters from their respective suitors and act out role-reversed wooing scenarios to test each other’s lives. Hilda discovers the terrifying body count and over-the-top melodrama required by a Renaissance duke, while Gioconda falls in love with the unpretentious, quiet reliability of a modern man who drives a two-seater. Realizing that their own times suit their temperaments best, they return to their origins and deliver a joint closing verse to the audience.

How It Unfolds

A literary deception unraveled Juliet admires her newly published book and press clippings in her flat before Helen bursts in, furious over a novel that she feels exposes her private life to the public.

The pride of public notoriety As the friends squabble over who was truly portrayed as the scandalous Calypso, Helen admits that she secretly loves the fame the book brings, prompting Juliet to reveal that she wrote it herself under a male pseudonym.

Invoking the inner wildness Pondering a marriage proposal from a wealthy bore, Dorothea uses popular psychoanalytic texts to summon her subconscious, bringing forth a fierce, primitive alter-ego named Dorothy who fiercely opposes the match.

A duel of psyches Dorothea's practical desires for social standing clash with Dorothy's wild romantic demands, culminating in a comedic spell-casting battle and a shared, sabotaged telegram that saves them both from a miserable marriage.

Crossing the boundaries of time In an enchanted garden where centuries meet, a modern woman complaining of her lover's blunt slang encounters a Renaissance lady exhausted by grand, bloody romantic gestures.

Returning to one's own era After pretending to woo each other in the style of their respective centuries, both women realize the flaws of their romantic fantasies and choose to return to their original times, wiser and content.

The People

• Juliet is an ambitious young writer who secretly publishes a scandalous novel under the male pseudonym "Galahad Green." She wants literary acclaim without facing the personal fallout from her friends, but she ultimately yields to the fun of her own success.
• Helen is Juliet's fashionable friend, defined by her green eyes, her vanity, and her quick temper. She initially wants to sue the author who exposed her private quirks, but she changes her mind the moment she realizes that public notoriety makes her look irresistibly romantic.
• Dorothea Wylde is a respectable, cultured Londoner who desires status, comfort, and a place among the intelligentsia. She considers marrying a rich, elderly bore, but her practical ambitions are challenged when her primitive inner self breaks free.
• Dorothy Wild is Dorothea's subconscious mind, dressed in furs and feathers. She wants primal freedom, passion, and artistic intensity, and she stands in the way of Dorothea's compromise by threatening violence and sabotaging her marriage acceptance.
• Hilda Gray is a modern young woman who longs for poetic, dramatic courtship. Upset by her boyfriend Harry's casual, slang-filled proposal, she flees to the past, only to find ancient romance far too deadly and exhausting.
• Gioconda Francesca Violante Giulia della Bionda is a sixteenth-century Venetian noblewoman weary of serenades, poison, and dueling suitors. She longs for modern conveniences like tennis, cars, and plain-spoken men, eventually realizing the value of her own time.

In Its Own Voice

"Think of it--by a freak / Of Fortune to be famous in one week, / And with my first book!"

Juliet marvels at the sudden, unexpected success of her secretly published novel while sitting alone by her fire.

"How queer to think that while one part of me / Is almost fond of James, another part / Is--doubtful----"

Dorothea reflects on her internal conflict regarding a marriage proposal just before her subconscious materializes.

"I have a lover.... And by the post this morning came a letter----"

Hilda explains to a Venetian stranger why she fled the modern world in search of an older, more romantic century.

What It's Really About

At their core, these three plays examine the foolishness of romantic escape and the human tendency to mistake novelty for happiness. Bax parodies the contemporary trends of his day—from the explosion of cheap psychoanalysis to the trendy cynicism of modern literature—showing how easily people adopt intellectual fads to avoid facing themselves. Whether the characters are projecting their desires onto a fictional book character, an imaginary alter-ego, or an idealized historical era, the plays argue that fulfillment requires accepting the reality of one's own time and nature. Through light comedy, Bax questions whether true romance lies in elaborate grand gestures or in simple, honest companionship.

Why Read It Today

Polite Satires offers a charming, light-footed time capsule of post-World War I English culture. Readers who enjoy theatrical comedies of manners, rhyming couplets, and vintage literary humor will find much to love in its clever pacing and sharp dialogue. It feels like stepping into a cozy 1920s drawing-room performance where social pretensions are gently turned upside down.

The collection does carry the specific marks of its period that may require a bit of patience from modern readers. The plays are written entirely in rhymed verse, which occasionally forces formal phrasing, and they are packed with hyper-specific cultural references of the 1920s—mentioning specific bath-salt brands, long-forgotten literary critics, early psychoanalytic terms, and period dances. Readers unfamiliar with early twentieth-century British literary figures may miss a few minor jokes. However, the overarching humor remains entirely accessible. The underlying human quirks—vanity, romantic overthinking, and grass-is-greener daydreaming—are just as recognizable today as they were a century ago.