Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 93, November 5, 1887

In Short

This late-Victorian issue of the satirical periodical Punch compiles contemporary wit, theatrical reviews, light verse, and political caricatures centered on late-1887 Britain. Through fictionalized letters from public figures like Joseph Chamberlain, humorous reports from fictitious waiters, and satirical tales of impoverished nobles learning the trade of burglary, the magazine lampoons shifting political alignments, municipal developments, and middle-class pretensions. It has endured as a sharp, period-specific mirror of Victorian anxieties, political posturing, and popular entertainment.

The Story

The volume opens with political maneuverings, tracking Joseph Chamberlain’s departure for the United States amidst shifting alliances and controversies within the Liberal Party. Public life and civic priorities come under scrutiny through debates over municipal spending, luxury, and the plight of the unemployed, contrasted against the staunch defense of opulent dining by a veteran waiter named Robert. International diplomacy fares similarly under a satirical lens, depicting a cynical entente cordiale between Madame France and John Bull over colonial spheres of influence and channel tunnels. Amidst these geopolitical anxieties, domestic diversions unfold across London, from the eclectic animal exhibits at the People's Palace poultry and rabbit show to the thrilling spectacles at the Paris Hippodrome and Olympia. The lighter sketches give way to a structured satirical verse narrative concerning four financially destitute peers—a Duke, a Marquis, an Earl, and a Baron—who decide that their aristocratic breeding no longer suffices to maintain their estates. Rejecting coarse crimes like garotting, they seek out a professional tutor named Professor Jehoshaphat Fipps to learn the refined arts of the cracksman, mastering the jemmy, centerbit, and skeleton key. Following their examination, they choose what they believe to be an empty, humble workman's dwelling near Victoria Park for their trial break-in. Upon forcing the door, they discover that the squalid hut is actually a secret cache overflowing with stolen jewels, tiaras, and precious trinkets that belong to their own dowager aunts and duchesses. Realizing they have unwittingly plundered a professional fraternity's hoard, the delighted noblemen fence the stolen loot for a fortune, pay their creditors, and invest in foreign bonds. Their newfound prosperity is short-lived, however, as subsequent crimes eventually catch up with them. The narrative concludes at the Old Bailey, where the fashionable crowd watches a jury convict the illustrious peers without hesitation, sentencing them to twenty-one years of hard labor picking oakum.

How It Unfolds

Political departure Joseph Chamberlain writes a farewell letter from Liverpool before boarding a ship for the United States, reflecting on his contentious relationships with Gladstone and Hartington. He embraces his identity as a pugnacious political outsider confident in his own resilience.

The waiter's philosophy Robert the waiter stoutly defends the luxury of the wealthy and the necessity of elite dining against the austere arguments of a political economist. He worries that cutting back on expensive chefs might eventually threaten the livelihood of the entire army of London waiters.

International pantomime Madame France and John Bull meet to celebrate a renewed diplomatic accord, amicably smoothing over colonial disputes regarding Egypt and the New Hebrides. Both figures maintain polite facades while privately expressing mutual cynicism about the other's true intentions.

The nobility's education Four destitute peers, facing financial ruin, resolve to learn the trade of burglary and enroll at the academy of Professor Jehoshaphat Fipps. They practice handling crowbars, skeleton keys, and dark lanterns until they pass their examinations with ease.

The accidental discovery The noblemen target a humble suburban cottage for their first test, only to uncover a massive hidden cache of stolen family jewels belonging to their own relatives. They fence the loot to settle their debts, but their criminal careers ultimately conclude with a swift trial at the Old Bailey.

The People

Joseph Chamberlain is a combative and unrepentant politician who cares little for political consensus and thrives on conflict with his former allies. His stubborn temperament and willingness to break with the Liberal Party stand in the way of smooth party unity, leaving him isolated yet defiant as he departs for America.

Robert is a loyal, food-revering hotel waiter who wants to protect the dignity of gastronomy and secure his own employment. The austere warnings of political economists stand in the way of his peace of mind, but he ends up comforted by the realization that luxury dining is unlikely to vanish.

The Four Impoverished Peers—comprising a Duke, a Marquis, an Earl, and a Baron—want to restore their fortunes and maintain their social status despite being deuced hard up. Their lack of funds and conventional career prospects stand in the way, leading them to study burglary under Professor Jehoshaphat Fipps, steal back their own families' jewels, and ultimately end up convicted at the Old Bailey to twenty-one years of hard labor.

Professor Jehoshaphat Fipps is a clandestine criminal tutor who wants to instruct young gentlemen in the fine arts of housebreaking. No significant obstacles impede his trade, and he successfully trains the noblemen before fading from the immediate action.

In Its Own Voice

Describing his combative political nature just before his departure for America, Joseph Chamberlain writes, "I have all my life been conscious of a tendency to rub people down the wrong way."

Reflecting on the terrifying prospect of economic austerity reaching the dining room, Robert observes, "If there is one picter that presents itself to my orrified imagination, that more than any other staggers it, it is that of the hole splendid Army of London Waiters... a singing in Chorus, 'We've got no work to do!'"

Contemplating their fallen financial estate and the need for drastic measures, the destitute peers lament, "No pleasure they took in the joys of the table; / Though stalwart, they recked not to breakfast or sup-- / E'en to plunge at bezique they no longer were able, / For the fact was these nobles were deuced hard up!"

What It's Really About

The material explores the tension between traditional class privilege and modern economic realities in late-nineteenth-century Britain. Through satire, it questions the stability of established political parties, the hypocrisy surrounding wealth and labor, and the absurdity of social pretension. The recurring motif of performance—whether in diplomacy, animal shows, or amateur burglary—suggests that Victorian society operates largely as an elaborate stage where appearances mask underlying chaos. By juxtaposing mundane civic complaints with fantastical criminal mishaps, the text examines how institutions adapt or fail when confronted with shifting public values and economic pressures.

Why Read It Today

Readers who appreciate historical satire, Victorian wit, and the origins of modern political commentary will find much to enjoy here. Reading it feels like flipping through a time capsule of late-Victorian anxieties, where sharp political cartoons and nonsense verse sit side by side with absurd theatrical reviews. Modern readers must navigate period-specific political references, nineteenth-century British slang, and outdated social attitudes that require patience to fully unpack. Yet, the reward lies in encountering a remarkably candid snapshot of a society laughing at its own contradictions. What stays with you long after closing the volume is its breezy cynicism toward political posturing and the vivid, theatrical energy of its comedic sketches.