Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 24, September 10, 1870

In Short

This issue of Punchinello, published on September 10, 1870, is a late-nineteenth-century American satirical weekly featuring serialized parodies, political skits, social commentaries, and period advertisements. Through character sketches, mock news bulletins, and farce, it lampoons prominent figures like Horace Greeley and Cornelius Vanderbilt, ridicules civic nuisances like the city’s rendering plants, and sends up popular culture. It survives as a vivid, uncensored record of New York’s Gilded Age humor, capturing the specific anxieties, political rivalries, commercial absurdities, and everyday annoyances of post-Civil War Urban America in its original serialized format.

The Story

The issue opens within the frame of serial satire, leading with Chapter XVII of Orpheus C. Kerr’s "The Mystery of Mr. E. Drood," a parody of Charles Dickens’s unfinished novel. The narrative follows the Gospeler, the Reverend Octavius Simpson, as he visits the grand offices of the Boreal Life Insurance Company in New York City. While waiting for insurance agent Melancthon Schenck, Simpson reads through absurd company schedules designed to prove that the company only profits if policyholders pay premiums for decades without dying prematurely. He watches clerks mock ill and apoplectic applicants, turning away high-risk callers while courting safe bets. When Schenck arrives, he physically attacks the minister with an aggressive medical exam, pronounces him near death, and attempts to strong-arm him into buying a policy. Simpson refuses, asserting his defense of his ward, Montgomery Pendragon, who stands accused of murder.

Following his escape from the insurance office, Simpson visits the despondent law student Montgomery, whose attic apartment sits directly above the editorial office of a comic paper—a location the youth finds darker than an undertaker’s shop. Simpson reassures him before crossing the street to consult Mr. Dibble, a serene lawyer who spots the disreputable Mr. Bumstead emerging from a nearby saloon.

From this narrative thread, the publication transitions into a series of topical sketches detailing late-summer life in 1870. A pseudo-philosophical letter mocks the dense theory of "Universology" propounded by Stephen Pearl Andrews. A vacationing correspondent describes a disastrous stay at the Charnel House at Sandy Point, where the greedy landlord demands cash in advance, the clerk claims to be a human safe for valuables, the surf is ruined by sharks, and the food tastes like sweat. Another narrative recounts a fishing excursion among the Thousand Islands, where a angler accidentally hooks and hauls in an entire island, complete with leftover pie plates from a picnic, forcing him to bribe Canadian boatmen to put the territory back.

The focus then turns to New York civic life and national affairs. A Wall Street report by "Greenbags" tracks market panics over peanuts, apples, and Franco-Prussian War telegrams while cataloging the antics of Jay Gould, James Fisk Jr., and Commodore Vanderbilt. The city’s physical decay is lampooned through attacks on the New York Rendering Company, whose dumping of animal carcasses has turned the harbor into a foul nuisance. Justice Downy presides over a police court report featuring editor Charles A. Dana, who is arrested for spraying Tammany Hall with a pewter squirt filled with gutter water. Finally, Justice of the Peace Hiram Green details the greasy chaos of a regional Fat Men's Club clam-bake before the issue closes with brief jokes and commercial notices.

How It Unfolds

The life insurance racket The Reverend Octavius Simpson waits in the offices of the Boreal Life Insurance Company, reading deceptive financial charts while clerks joke about turning away sick applicants. Agent Melancthon Schenck assaults Simpson with an unsolicited physical exam and tries to coerce him into taking out a policy.

Visiting the accused law student Simpson visits his ward, Montgomery Pendragon, who sits in a gloomy attic room above the offices of a comic journal, dreading his sister's arrival. The minister offers religious comfort before departing to meet the lawyer Mr. Dibble across the street.

Resort life and island fishing A weary traveler checks into a dilapidated resort called the Charnel House, where the host demands cash upfront and the water tastes foul. On the St. Lawrence River, a fisherman accidentally hooks one of the Thousand Islands and pays Canadian sailors to secretly restore it.

Panics and public nuisances A financial reporter chronicles Wall Street chaos, tracking market swings over fruit and the squabbles of railroad tycoons. Meanwhile, commentators condemn the New York Rendering Company for dumping offal into the harbor and ruining summer steamboat excursions.

Courtroom farce and clam-bakes Police arrest editor Charles A. Dana for squirting dirty gutter water at Tammany Hall, leading to a satirical courtroom interrogation. Rural magistrate Hiram Green concludes the volume with a chaotic report on the annual Fat Men's Club clam-bake.

The People

• The Reverend Octavius Simpson wants to defend his ward’s innocence and settle legal affairs without being scammed. Stood up by aggressive businessmen, he resists high-pressure sales tactics while maintaining a cheery, naive clerical optimism.
• Melancthon Schenck wants to sell high-margin life insurance policies by any means necessary. Blocked by Simpson's refusal, he resorts to physical intimidation and moral guilt, ending up frustrated when the minister escapes his office.
• Montgomery Pendragon wants relief from the gloom of his murder accusation and his dismal attic lodgings. Hindered by his sister’s endless talk and the depressing comic paper downstairs, he remains despondent throughout his retreat.
• James Fisk, Jr. wants to maintain control of the Erie Railway and assert dominance over rivals. Opposed by government policy and news reporters, he responds by flaunting his wealth, insulting political figures, and charging newspapers by weight on his steamboats.
• Charles A. Dana wants to make money by attacking political enemies with public slander. Arrested by the police while slinging dirty water at Tammany Hall, he remains brazen and unrepentant before the magistrate.
• Hiram Green, Esq. wants to enjoy a public outing without succumbing to the heat. Surrounded by sweating members of the Fat Men's Club, he stays observant, relieved that he does not share their massive proportions.

In Its Own Voice

"The Boreal couldn't insure men who ought to be upon their dying beds instead of coughing around Insurance offices."

A mocking clerk at the Boreal Life Insurance Company turns away an elderly, narrow-chested applicant seeking a policy.

"If there were only something the least bit more lively down there--say an Undertaker's."

Montgomery Pendragon complains to the Gospeler about the dreary atmosphere of his apartment located directly over a comic paper.

"All the offal in the world, said prisoner, wasn't too much for him to use in bespattering the objects of his attention, friends as well as foes."

Editor Charles A. Dana defends his messy smear tactics while standing trial in the Jephson Market Police Court.

What It's Really About

Beneath its slapstick surface, this issue targets the aggressive commercialism and institutional hypocrisy of post-Civil War America. It exposes how modern corporations—exemplified by the Boreal Life Insurance Company—operate on predatory mathematics, enriching themselves while mocking the vulnerable. The text interrogates the sensationalism of the 1870s press, painting media figures as cynical opportunists who throw metaphorical gutter water at public buildings for profit.

The issue also wrestles with urban decay and civic neglect. The repeated complaints against the New York Rendering Company highlight the environmental cost of rapid industrial growth, showing how corporate greed literally poisons the public air and water. Through broad parody, the periodical asks whether traditional morality and civic pride can survive in a society driven entirely by Wall Street speculation, vanity, and commercial hustles.

Why Read It Today

This publication offers a rare, unfiltered taste of nineteenth-century popular humor as it was delivered to newsstands in 1870. Readers who enjoy literary history, political satire, or classic American parody will appreciate its energetic pace, sharp wit, and unvarnished glimpse into Gilded Age pop culture. Rather than viewing the era through stately history texts, one experiences it through the daily irritations, corporate scams, and media rivalries that occupied ordinary New Yorkers.

The reading experience requires some patience with period dialect, localized 1870 political references, and heavy-handed farce. Jokes about forgotten editors, vanished steamship lines, and regional resorts require contextual intuition, and the phonetic spelling in the rural sketches can slow down modern eyes. Yet the magazine remains surprisingly accessible because its primary targets—predatory insurance practices, environmental pollution, sensational news outlets, and terrible vacation lodging—are instantly recognizable today. It leaves the reader with a vivid sense of the absurdities, noise, and irreverent spirit of nineteenth-century American urban life.