Self Portrait

In Short

This diary-based novel centers on Oliver Parks, a dedicated cyberneticist who arrives at the secretive IFACS laboratory in Princeton, New Jersey, hoping to join the elite "MS" (Military Strategy) department. While tasked with building advanced artificial limbs for a war-injured veteran, Parks finds himself entangled with Len Ellsom, a brilliant but erratic scientist who mocks the facility's conformist culture. Through a series of increasingly unsettling entries, the story explores the intersection of human flesh and machine, documenting the high price paid for professional success in a world obsessed with military efficiency.

The Story

Ollie Parks arrives at IFACS with a rigid, professional outlook, eager to prove his worth. He is assigned to the Pro lab, where he is expected to build prosthetic limbs that bridge the gap between human nerves and electronic circuitry. His subject, Kujack, is a double amputee who harbor a strange, silent disdain for his benefactor. As Parks struggles to make his limbs function, he reunites with an old acquaintance, Len Ellsom. Len, who works in the mysterious MS department, is deeply disillusioned with the institution. He spends his time drinking and conspiring with a local anarchist named Steve Lundy, spinning dark, satirical theories about "International Mushroom Day"—a hypothetical event where nations would use "Strategy Integrator" computers to calculate and distribute war casualties mathematically, effectively removing the "messy" human element from conflict.

Parks remains determined to excel, despite his disapproval of Len’s behavior. He eventually splits his laboratory into two divisions: "K-Pro," focused purely on the mechanical, kinesthetic movement of limbs, and "N-Pro," the neural-biological side. By abandoning the difficult task of integrating the limb with the human nervous system, Parks achieves a breakthrough. He creates a solenoid-powered leg that is superior to a human limb in strength and performance. His success earns him the praise of his superiors and a glowing, televised press demonstration, where Kujack—forced to act out a photogenic gratitude—kicks a football with record-breaking power.

However, this victory comes at a dark cost. Len and his friend Steve Lundy are arrested by security forces for violating loyalty oaths by discussing the MS project. Parks, eager to protect his own career and keep his press conference on schedule, provides testimony that effectively ruins Len’s professional future. Kujack, who has been corrupted by Len’s cynical philosophy, is also arrested once the demonstration concludes.

The story ends on an chillingly hollow note. Parks, now a rising star, reflects on his success while preparing for a New Year’s Eve party. He has successfully navigated the political landscape of the laboratory, secured a potential promotion into the secretive MS department, and reached out to his former flame, Marilyn. He has traded his scientific integrity for bureaucratic advancement, leaving behind a trail of ruined colleagues and a dehumanized, mechanical vision of the world.

How It Unfolds

The arrival at Princeton Parks reports to the campus, immediately adopting the local culture of "sloppy dungarees" while secretly harboring intense ambition. He is warned by his boss that his work in the Pro lab is vital and that he must avoid the hush-hush MS end of the facility.

The frustration of the Pro lab Parks discovers that duplicating the totality of a human limb is an agonizing, near-impossible task that makes him feel like he is being asked to play God. He encounters Len Ellsom, who mocks the "teamwork" and "loyalty" of the scientists.

The cynicism of the veterans Len introduces Parks to a dark, satirical view of war as an actuarial game, involving "Emsiac" computers and voluntary amputees. Parks records these conversations with a mix of fascination and moral repulsion, viewing Len as an unstable, unprofessional influence.

The split in the laboratory Parks decides to prioritize mechanical efficiency over neural integration, creating a "K-Pro" leg that works by push-button. He delegates the neuro-biological work to a colleague, Goldweiser, whom he distrusts but respects for his technical prowess.

The betrayal After Len and his friend are arrested for leaking secrets, Parks cooperates with security agents to ensure his own standing remains secure. He manages to delay the arrest of his test subject until the public relations triumph is complete.

The empty victory Parks earns the praise of his boss and is poised to move into the MS department. He concludes his diary by preparing for a festive evening, showing no remorse for the human costs of his rise to power.

The People

Ollie Parks, the protagonist, is a cold, status-conscious scientist who values efficiency and obedience above human connection. His desire for prestige blinds him to the moral decay inherent in his work. Len Ellsom serves as his foil: a brilliant, self-destructive cynic who uses humor and transgression as a way to cope with the reality of weaponizing cybernetics. Kujack, the double amputee, begins as a passive subject but is transformed by Len’s nihilistic influence into a mirror of the laboratory's indifference, mocking his own suffering through a "photogenic" performance of happiness. The unnamed "Boss" represents the corporate face of institutional power, valuing the appearance of scientific progress and public relations over the ethical substance of the research.

In Its Own Voice

"You're first and foremost a talented neuro man, and that's exactly what we need in the Pro department."

The boss explains to Parks that his past success with insect robotics makes him perfect for the daunting, god-like task of building artificial limbs.

"There's a kind of malicious expression in his eyes."

Parks notes the unsettling look in Kujack’s gaze, suggesting that the veteran is far more aware of the experimental nature of his own body than the scientist cares to admit.

"The General Staff boys in Washington were all hopped up about that little old tool... modern war needs just this kind of strategy tool."

Len reveals the true, terrifying nature of the MS project, explaining how the military intends to automate the strategic slaughter of global populations.

What It's Really About

The book is a stark examination of the "technological imperative"—the idea that because a machine can be built, it must be built, regardless of the ethical consequences. It explores how scientific advancement, when untethered from human empathy, becomes a tool of state control. The central tension is between the "Boy Scout" mentality of the career-driven scientist and the "cynic" who sees the horrific logical conclusion of his own profession. The text argues that the dehumanization required to build a "perfect" machine inevitably leads to the dehumanization of the scientists themselves, as they treat their subjects, their peers, and their own moral codes as variables in an equation to be optimized.

Why Read It Today

Readers interested in the history of mid-century science fiction will find this a fascinating, if unsettling, artifact. It feels less like a traditional space-age adventure and more like a claustrophobic, paranoid office drama written in the shadow of the early Cold War. The prose is precise and clinical, reflecting the narrator's own detached worldview, which makes the slow, quiet realization of his moral bankruptcy all the more effective.

However, modern readers should be prepared for the book's period-specific attitudes, particularly its dismissive, sometimes prejudiced characterizations of the supporting cast. The "diary" format can also feel rigid, forcing the reader to view the entire world through the eyes of an unreliable, deeply unlikable narrator. It is not an easy read; there is no grand heroic arc or redemption. Instead, it offers something more durable: a chilling, clear-eyed look at how the desire for professional success can quietly transform a human being into a functioning, heartless cog in a machine of state-sponsored destruction. It is a haunting portrait of the "banality of evil" inside a laboratory, and the feeling of witnessing a man lose his soul to a mechanical leg stays with you long after the final page.