The Complete Works of Artemus Ward

In Short

This collection gathers the miscellaneous writings, lectures, and sketches of a popular mid-nineteenth-century American humorist. Through a series of fictional travelogues, autobiographical tall tales, and critiques of theater and politics, the work captures the voice of a traveling showman who views the world with a dry, skeptical eye. Known for his intentional misspellings and fractured grammar, the author uses this "cracker-barrel" persona to lampoon the social, political, and cultural eccentricities of his time. It remains a foundational text in the history of American vernacular humor.

The Story

The narrative arc of these pieces is less a single progression than a series of loosely connected vignettes that follow the life and travels of a quintessential American itinerant performer. We begin in the past, with the author reflecting on his youth as a showman traveling via canal boat, recounting the minor misadventures and eccentric characters encountered along the way. These early memories establish the tone: life is a series of "eccentrissities" that must be handled with a blend of resignation and irony.

As the collection advances, the author navigates different segments of American society. He moves from the professional frustrations of managing wax figures—where his artistic decisions are constantly misunderstood by a "discriminatin" public—to his observations of high-society events and theatrical performances. He attends plays, critiques the acting, and interacts with the political elite in Washington, where he maintains a surreal, detached perspective that strips away the gravity of the office.

The story takes a more pointed turn as the narrator travels among the Mormons in Salt Lake City. Here, the humor becomes a tool for social commentary, as he navigates the complex marital landscape and daily life of the community with a mix of genuine curiosity and biting absurdity. He also engages with contemporary movements, such as the Fenians, offering a satirical take on their grand, often hollow, political ambitions.

Throughout these journeys, the narrator is constantly attempting to project a refined image, despite his obvious lack of formal education. He writes letters to editors, prepares "impromptoo" speeches he never delivers, and tries to maintain a dignified demeanor while his wife or his own physical clumsiness threatens to undermine him. The "story" concludes with reflections on his own declining health, as he finds the strength to joke even while facing mortality. He ultimately presents himself as a man who has seen the world's follies—from the "low thief" in prison to the politicians in the capital—and has concluded that most of human endeavor is a grand, often ridiculous, performance. He accepts the absurdity of his life and the inevitable end, leaving behind a legacy of wit that mocks the pretension of others while remaining acutely aware of his own place in the circus of life.

How It Unfolds

The early days The narrator recounts his youth on a canal boat, where he masters the art of managing unruly horses and even more unruly passengers. These initial adventures set the stage for a life spent moving through the American landscape, always looking for a laugh.

The life of a showman The author details his career in the traveling museum business, where he attempts to pass off wax figures as historical greats. He faces constant rejection from townsfolk who fail to appreciate his "gen'us," forcing him to move on to the next locale.

Washington and society The narrator brings his peculiar brand of observational humor to the political capital and various social events. He interacts with high-ranking officials and art critics, always poking holes in the pomposity that surrounds those in power.

Among the Mormons The collection shifts to a detailed, sardonic account of life in Utah, where the narrator navigates the intricacies of plural marriage and local commerce. He uses this environment to highlight the gaps between high-minded ideals and the mundane reality of human nature.

The final act In the closing sketches, the author reflects on his career and his own mortality. Even as his health fails, he continues to write with a light touch, finding humor in his medical treatment and the ultimate futility of earthly concerns.

The People

The narrator, who adopts the name Artemus Ward, is the central consciousness of the book. He is a self-proclaimed man of "gen'us" who prides himself on his worldly wisdom, yet he is constantly humbled by his own lack of "eddycation" and the unpredictability of his audiences. He views himself as a calm observer of a chaotic world.

His wife, Betsy, serves as a grounded, sharp-witted foil to his own often-fanciful persona. She frequently punctures his attempts at dignity or "sentymental" romanticism, serving as a reminder of the reality he often tries to escape through his writing.

The various figures he encounters—from the "Head Centre" of the Fenians to the "Squire" he debates at social soirees—function as archetypes of American ambition and vanity. He treats them with a mixture of deference and mockery, using their own seriousness to make them appear all the more ridiculous. Brigham Young and the various elders of Salt Lake City represent the height of his social curiosity; he treats their communal lives as a puzzle that he can solve through his own unique, albeit confused, logic. By the end, these characters fade into a background of human folly, while the author remains the lone, aging voice trying to find meaning in a life of performance.

In Its Own Voice

"In overhaulin one of my old trunks the tother day, I found the follerin jernal of a vyge on the starnch canawl bote, Polly Ann."

The narrator introduces the reader to his early life, framing his past as a collection of forgotten, yet humorous, records.

"To the youth of Ameriky it would be vallyble as showin how high a pinnykle of fame a man can reach who commenst his career with a small canvas tent and a pea-green ox."

He offers a satirical take on the traditional rags-to-riches biography, using his own failed business ventures as the basis for a lesson on success.

"I have no control over my arms now," I replied, drivin my elbows suddenly into the Squire's stomack, which caused that corpulent magistrate to fall vilently off the stage into the fiddlers' box."

He punctuates a serious, rambling political discussion with an act of blunt, physical slapstick that underscores his frustration with the pomposity of local leaders.

What It's Really About

At its core, this book is a sustained meditation on the gap between American pretense and reality. The author constantly explores the tension between the "grand" ideals of the nineteenth century—democracy, expansion, morality, and political reform—and the reality of a nation that was often messy, corrupt, and absurd. Through his fractured spelling and colloquial tone, he argues that the language of power is often as broken as his own writing. He asks: who gets to define what is "civilized" or "important"? By consistently siding with the "lowly" showman against the "grate" politicians or critics, the book asserts that human foolishness is a universal constant, regardless of one's station in life.

Why Read It Today

Readers who enjoy the roots of American satire will find this book essential. It feels like the direct ancestor of modern stand-up comedy, relying on the rhythm of the narrator's voice, the absurdity of the anecdotes, and the joy of a good, self-deprecating prank. Reading these pieces is like listening to a clever, slightly eccentric grandfather spinning yarns; it is warm, engaging, and unexpectedly sharp.

However, the reader must be prepared for the challenges of the text. The phonetic spelling and intentionally broken grammar require a bit of patience to decipher, and the humor is deeply rooted in the cultural politics of the 1860s. Some readers may find the period attitudes—particularly the author’s treatment of various immigrant and social groups—to be dated or occasionally jarring. The book does not present a cohesive, modern perspective, but rather a snapshot of a specific, volatile era. It is best enjoyed in small doses, much like the original lectures were likely delivered. What stays with you is not the specific political commentary, but the enduring, quintessentially American impulse to laugh in the face of authority and to find the humor in the inevitable failures of the human experience.