The Feeling

In Short

This psychological science fiction short story follows the crew of the first manned spacecraft to Mars as they experience a profound, suffocating sense of alienation known simply as the Feeling. As they venture deeper into the void, the invisible elastic band connecting them to Earth tightens, forcing them to confront the terrifying realization that humanity may be an inherently collective organism incapable of existing in isolation. Through meticulous inquiry and psychological endurance, the crew solves the mystery of the affliction, culminating in a striking metaphysical return home that challenges the very premise of space exploration and leaves institutional authorities questioning the future of mankind among the stars.

The Story

The narrative opens in a medical and psychological debriefing room on Earth, where a heavily conditioned astronaut named Lieutenant Walraven is placed under a light sedative. Guided by Coordinator Erwin, psychologist Costain, and a psych team, Walraven relives the historic maiden voyage to Mars alongside Captain Maxon and fellow lieutenants Vaughn and Ragan. The launch begins with high excitement, but two hours out past lunar orbit, the men experience a sudden, inexplicable dread called the Feeling. Seeking answers, they test the ship's hybrid atomic and psionic power plant, suspecting radiation or engine feedback, but find the machinery functioning perfectly.

As the ship crosses its halfway point and cuts its engines for the mandatory rotation into deceleration, the Feeling intensifies rather than lifting. Recognizing that the source resides within themselves rather than the mechanics, Maxon urges the crew to articulate the agony. Vaughn describes a desolate, vertiginous terror akin to a child's dream of falling, devoid of ordinary homesickness. Ragan feels a stark desire to simply be anywhere back on Earth, while Walraven experiences a profound sense of uprootedness, comparing humanity to social insects like termites cut off from their hive. Maxon hypothesizes that mankind functions as a composite being bound together by mutual necessity, never before isolated in the cold vacuum of space.

Though they identify the root cause, the pressure mounts relentlessly as they push outward. They manage to complete their mission, placing the vessel into Martian orbit and activating the telemetering gear. At that breaking point, they turn their backs on one another and let go. In the debriefing room, Walraven reveals that upon letting go, he immediately felt a fresh breeze and materialized by a stone fence near his birthplace. When Erwin notes that only Maxon and Vaughn have reported in alongside Walraven, Walraven insists Ragan is also back. A cablegram arrives confirming Ragan has returned in North Ireland. Outside the hospital, Erwin defiantly vows to find conditioning that will keep future astronauts on Mars, but under Costain's pointed questioning, Erwin breaks into a cold sweat and quietly admits the impossibility of the task.

How It Unfolds

• The voyage begins: The first Mars expedition blasts off smoothly, carrying Captain Maxon, Lieutenants Vaughn, Ragan, and Walraven past lunar orbit under deep conditioning and muscle relaxation.
• The first awareness: Shortly after reporting all systems normal via coded tape, the four crew members are struck simultaneously by a nameless, growing dread they call the Feeling.
• Testing the machinery: The men exhaustively check the ship's cryptic psionic-atomic power plant, but verify that the engines are entirely blameless for their psychological distress.
• Midpoint deceleration: During the silent coast when acceleration ceases and the ship swings around, the pressure mounts further, proving to Maxon that distance from home is the true catalyst.
• Naming the uprootedness: Prompted by Maxon, the crew analyzes their inner torment, leading Walraven to identify the sensation of being violently torn from the soil that produced them.
• The collective organism: Maxon theorizes that humans are an interconnected composite species bound by a biological need for one another, rendering true isolation intolerable.
• Reaching the orbit: Despite the agonizing psychological weight, the crew successfully achieves Martian orbit and activates their telemetering signals.
• The final release: Abandoning the ship in unison, Walraven and his crewmates let go of their collective tether, instantly materializing back on the surface of Earth.

The People

• Lieutenant Walraven serves as the ship's communications officer and a man deeply rooted to his rural New England farm heritage. He wants to fulfill his mission, but struggles against an unbearable spiritual uprootedness, ultimately leading the crew to understand the biological nature of their affliction before returning safely to his homeland.
• Captain Maxon is the crew authority and commander, determined to apply logic and reason to their unprecedented crisis. He wants to successfully complete the Mars orbit at all costs, using methodical questioning to diagnose the crew's condition, though he ultimately fails to conquer the profound human tether to Earth.
• Lieutenant Vaughn is a sensitive, poetic crew member prone to soul-searching. He wants to understand their psychological state, serving as the first to articulate the terrifying, wordless desolation of deep space before finding release back on Earth.
• Ragan is a professional soldier with no family ties or close attachments anywhere in the world. He wants simply to escape the void, and despite having no specific home to mourn, he shares the collective pull and materializes in North Ireland upon release.
• Coordinator Erwin is a militarily authoritative civilian official overseeing the project. He wants to conquer space and insists that future astronauts can be conditioned to stay on Mars, though he is ultimately forced to confront the stubborn truth of human nature.
• Costain is the observing psychologist who maintains a quiet, perceptive watch over the debriefing. He wants to understand the human cost of the mission, acting as a grounded foil to Erwin's relentless ambition.

In Its Own Voice

"The ship's power plant is partly psionic... the psi-drive is tied into our minds in the same way it's tied into the atomic and electronic components."

Ragan offers an early, mechanical hypothesis for their distress before the crew realizes the true source of the Feeling lies within their own biology.

"When I think of my wife, it's not the same at all as if I were just in some far corner of the Earth with only land and water between us."

Vaughn attempts to describe the unique, vertiginous terror of interplanetary distance during the crew's psychological analysis.

"Maybe something bigger than individual men made the human race what it is. Maybe we've been a sort of composite being all along..."

Maxon synthesizes the crew's shared experience into a revolutionary hypothesis about human nature and the necessity of togetherness.

What It's Really About

The story explores the metaphysical and biological boundaries of human expansion, arguing that humanity is not composed of isolated individuals, but functions as a single, interdependent superorganism. Aycock examines whether our species is fundamentally tethered to Earth by evolutionary design, suggesting that our psychological roots run as deep as our physical ones. The narrative questions the hubris of technological progress, proposing that certain cosmic frontiers may reject human presence because our biology cannot endure absolute separation from the collective hive. Space is portrayed not merely as a physical vacuum, but as a spiritual solvent that dissolves the artificial independence of mankind.

Why Read It Today

Readers who love cerebral, atmospheric science fiction in the tradition of Ray Bradbury or Arthur C. Clarke will find immense satisfaction here. Reading it feels like stepping into a quiet, claustrophobic laboratory of the human soul, where the terror of the unknown is internal rather than extraterrestrial. What stays with you long after finishing is the haunting elegance of the crew's psychological revelation and the quiet inevitability of their return. While the prose reflects the mid-century Cold War tone of its 1961 publication—featuring an all-male military-scientific crew and brief Cold War terminology—these period elements quickly fade behind the timeless philosophical questions it raises about our place in the universe.

What aspects of human connection do you think make it hardest for us to imagine truly leaving Earth behind?