The Fifteen Comforts of Matrimony: Responses from Men

In Short

This 1706 satirical collection explores the grim realities and domestic warfare of matrimony, cuckoldom, and urban debauchery through interlocking sequences of verse. Originating from early-eighteenth-century London print culture, the texts present a cynical mirror to domestic life, balanced by a sharp-tongued counter-response from bachelors and maids defending the institution. The work has lasted as a fascinating window into period gender politics, popular verse satire, and the eternal war of wits between husbands and wives navigating fidelity, finance, and folly.

The Story

The collection opens with the sequence detailing matrimony, which traces a swift descent from the initial romantic bliss of a young couple into financial ruin, nagging, infidelity, and bitter regret. Husbands find themselves shackled to extravagant wives who run them into debt, or older men foolishly wed young brides who make them cuckolds. The sequence catalogues various marital miseries, from scolding shrews and aging partners mismatched in desire to sickly wives whose medical bills drain the household estate until death brings the only true relief.

Following this grim catalogue, the responding verse from bachelors and maids rises in sharp defense of wedlock. This responding voice argues that true pleasures exist solely within the marriage bed, where mutual love lightens worldly cares and softens the blows of providence. The defenders counter that domestic troubles stem frequently from male vices—such as drinking, whoring, and financial mismanagement—rather than inherent female malice, insisting that a patient, virtuous wife remains man's greatest earthly blessing.

The volume then shifts into the sequence detailing urban debauchery, highlighting the slippery slope of bachelor life. Young men abandon innocence for mistresses and harlots, only to be financially bled, legally manipulated, and physically ruined by venereal diseases like pox and claps. Promising marriage or showering gifts upon deceitful courtesans leads directly to ruin, broken health, and social degradation, leaving the spendthrift broken down before his time.

Next, the sequence focusing on cuckoldom gives voice to the cornuted husbands of Horn-Fair. These men lament wives who slip out to taverns, meet gallants at church, or take young lovers while keeping up false appearances. Some husbands attempt to tame their partners, while others flee to Holland or resign themselves to wearing horns with quiet submission, realizing that public scandal only brings mockery from neighbors and street urchins.

Finally, the sequence on wanton wives presents the perspective of the cunning, unfaithful spouse who completely dominates her fearful husband. She manages affairs, spends his wealth on her gallants and the theater, feigns repentance with false tears whenever caught, and returns immediately to her wicked ways. The work concludes with a sweeping moral condemnation of wanton wives as the ultimate instruments of human destruction, leaving the hapless husband impoverished, disgraced, and utterly ruined.

How It Unfolds

• The romantic illusion

The text begins by exposing the initial foolishness of youth rushing into marriage, blinded by physical desire, flattering compliments, and trivial toys. Soon, this sweet dream shatters as brides turn sullen, proud, and extravagant, running their husbands into crippling debt, heavy burdens, and ultimate imprisonment. The husband wakes from his illusion to find his home transformed into a site of endless financial strain and bitter regret.

• The descent into debauchery

As the sequences progress, men turn away from honest domestic duties toward urban harlots, mistresses, and endless tavern life. This dangerous path yields physical decay, painful venereal diseases like pox and claps, and total financial ruin, stripping the spendthrift of his youth and vitality. Friends and masters are robbed to feed the insatiable demands of these cunning women who ultimately abandon their victims.

• The reign of the shrews

Middle-aged and older husbands find themselves entirely subjugated by scolding, dominant shrews or unfaithful partners who take clandestine lovers behind their backs. Husbands bear these heavy humiliations, servant disrespect, and public mockery silently for the sake of honor, often driven nearly mad by relentless friction. Even aging or sickly wives add to the misery, draining household resources with endless apothecary bills.

• The spirited defense

Interspersed within the broader cynicism, bachelors and maids offer a passionate counter-argument praising the unmatched joys of wedlock and true companionship. They contend that a loving, patient wife mitigates all worldly cares and that domestic troubles frequently stem from male misconduct, drinking, and whoring rather than female malice. They maintain that a virtuous wife remains the greatest blessing bestowed upon man by the gods above.

• The final ruin

The cycle concludes with the total triumph of the wanton wife, who manipulates, spends, and cuckolds her fearful spouse while shedding false tears of repentance. The work ends on a dark moral note, portraying unfaithful women as destructive leeches, wolves in sheep's clothing, and the ultimate instruments of human downfall. The hapless husband stands completely impoverished, disgraced, and left with nothing but his symbolic horns.

The People

The Young Husband wants the fleeting joys of romance and beauty, but faces his own naivety, crushing debts, and a sullen, extravagant wife who leaves him ruined or imprisoned. The Wanton Wife desires freedom, pleasure, and luxury, utilizing cunning wiles, false tears, and secret gallants to dominate her household while her husband pays the price. The Aged Ass is an older man who foolishly marries a young woman, hoping for a fresh crop of heirs, but ends up cuckolded, financially drained, and brought to a sorrowful grave. The Scold rules her household with an iron tongue, wearing the breeches and reducing her husband to a silent cipher who must submit to her dominance until death. In contrast, the voice of the Batchelors and Maids champions single and married youth alike, arguing for mutual affection and maintaining that patient, virtuous wives deserve honor, while shifting blame back onto reckless, drinking men. Finally, the Harlot or Mistress seeks financial gain through urban debauchery, bleeding her youthful admirers of their fortunes before leaving them to suffer from poverty and venereal disease. Each figure acts out a distinct role in this vast eighteenth-century theater of domestic conflict, where desire constantly collides with harsh economic and social realities.

In Its Own Voice

Married they are--no Couple for a while Enjoy such Pleasure, Fortune seems to smile: But all's a Dream, from which in time they wake, And now their Breasts of other Cares partake

The opening sequence vividly illustrates how quickly the initial romantic bliss of newlyweds dissolves into harsh domestic anxiety and financial strain.

You Lie, reply'd my hopeful graceless Dear, I'll have you know, I'll never sin in fear,

A defiant and unrepentant wife sharply dismisses her husband's legitimate concerns regarding the dangerous company she keeps in town.

The Husband's Stock is wasted by mischance, A careful Wife will soon the same advance.

The responding bachelors and maids highlight the redeeming social value of a diligent, faithful partner who helps rebuild a faltering household economy.

What It's Really About

The collection grapples with the anxieties surrounding gender roles, financial survival, and morality in early eighteenth-century urban society. It questions whether marriage is a divine blessing of mutual comfort or a legal trap designed to impoverish and enslave men through female extravagance and infidelity. By pairing cynical attacks on matrimony and whoring with spirited counter-defenses from bachelors and maids, the texts engage in a broader cultural dialogue about human nature, temptation, and self-control. Beneath the satirical catalog of cuckolds and scolds lies a deep preoccupation with social order, marital governance, and the economic vulnerability of households caught between personal license and moral duty.

Why Read It Today

Readers fascinated by the social history of early-eighteenth-century England, popular verse satire, and the evolution of gender discourse will find this collection endlessly entertaining and historically revealing. Reading these brisk, rhyming verses feels like stepping directly into a bustling, gossipy London print shop of 1706, surrounded by competing pamphlets shouting witty insults, bawdy anecdotes, and earnest moral warnings. Modern readers must contend with archaic spellings, printer irregularities, heavy-handed period moralizing, and deeply cynical tropes that frequently cast women as manipulative shrews or predatory wantons. Yet, the spirited counter-voices of the maids and bachelors provide a fascinating ideological balance, injecting vigorous defense, humor, and humanity into the ongoing debate. What stays with you long after closing the volume is the raw, theatrical energy of these domestic disputes—proving that the eternal comedy, friction, and anxiety of human relationships remain remarkably unchanged across three centuries.