The Make-Believe Man

In Short

Joe, a modest stenographer from Fairport, Connecticut, dreams of life beyond his office desk. His rooming-house friend, Joseph Forbes Kinney, is a teller of tall tales who insists that attracting grand adventures requires looking like an aristocrat or a crook. Hoping for a cheap vacation, the two board the steamship Patience, where Kinney’s compulsive fibs spark a hilarious comedy of errors involving an Irish earl, his high-spirited sister, an angry American fiancé, and a nighttime sea collision. It is a buoyant story about identity, pretension, and finding authenticity right where you started.

The Story

Joe is a steady twenty-five-year-old clerk who spends his evenings reading law and dreaming of high-seas adventure, though his quiet manner keeps him firmly rooted in mundane reality. His roommate, Joe Kinney—who drops "Joe" for "Forbes" to sound more socially elite—is his polar opposite. Kinney buys secondhand luggage plastered with European hotel stickers, hooks faux ivy-league ribbons onto his hats, and boasts of fantastical encounters with heiresses and criminals. When the pair decide to pick a cheap vacation spot out of a hat, they board the Sound steamer Patience bound for New Bedford.

Once aboard, Kinney reads news accounts of the elusive young Earl of Ivy and his sister, Lady Moya, who have just slipped away from New York society reporters. Spotting a smartly dressed youth, Kinney instantly weaves a fresh web of pretense: he tells the young man that his companion Joe is a British peer in disguise, while also convincing himself that the youth’s mysterious companions are escaping bank robbers. Joe, meanwhile, meets a warm, vibrant young woman on deck whose soft Irish voice and charming straightforwardness captivate him completely.

Kinney’s theatrical posturing quickly backfires. The suspicious young American in the party, Mr. Aldrich, corners Kinney over his fake Harvard hatband and discovers he knows nothing about Ivy League rowing. Aldrich accuses both clerks of being confidence men passing themselves off as royalty. Before the purser can turn the two room-roommates over to the New Bedford police, chaos strikes: a heavy schooner rams the Patience in the thick Sound fog, tearing open their cabin and throwing the steamship into a panic.

Determined to save the lovely lady he met on deck, Joe rushes through the wreckage, knocks out a cowardly stoker to secure a life-belt, and locates Lady Moya. He commandeers an abandoned wooden yawl swaying beside the sinking hull. Lady Moya, her brother Lord Ivy (the unassuming youth Kinney mistook for a crook), a terrified Kinney, and an indignant Aldrich all tumble into the small boat.

As they row blindly through the heavy fog toward the shore, Aldrich relentlessly threatens to hand Joe and Kinney over to the authorities the moment they reach land. When the sun finally breaks through the mist at dawn, the yawl drifts beside a quiet dock near a vine-covered cottage and a tall, blue-eyed fisherman wearing a constable’s badge. Joe steps forward to greet his father, welcoming his high-society passengers to his home town of Fairport—bringing the wild escapade to a triumphant, grounded end.

How It Unfolds

The urge for adventure Joe longs for excitement beyond his office job at Joyce & Carboy, while his roommate Kinney insists that adventure must be actively pursued through elaborate make-believe.

Setting off by chance The two clerks draw cheap travel destinations from a hat and board the steamship Patience, where Kinney instantly begins adopting false identities and hatbands to impress fellow passengers.

A striking encounter Joe meets a radiant Irish lady on deck, engaging in a warm conversation that leaves him thoroughly enchanted despite his shyness and her mystery companion's odd behavior.

The webs of pretense unspool Kinney’s wild claims that Joe is an Earl and his accusations that others are crooks lead to a confrontation with Mr. Aldrich, who threatens to have the pair arrested at the next port.

Disaster in the fog A schooner rams the vessel in mid-Sound, causing immediate panic and forcing Joe to scramble to safety while searching for the beautiful lady he met on deck.

Escape in the yawl Joe secures a small boat, gathering Lady Moya, Lord Ivy, Kinney, and the furious Aldrich to row through the dense mist toward the Connecticut coastline.

A surprising homecoming As the morning sun clears the fog, the party arrives at Fairport, where the local constable turns out to be Joe's own father, neatly resolving the misunderstandings.

The People

• Joe: A modest, twenty-five-year-old stenographer who studies law at night. He craves adventure but relies on genuine honesty and physical strength, ultimately proving himself resourceful and grounded when crisis strikes.
• Joseph Forbes Kinney: Joe's rooming-house friend and fellow clerk. Driven by a vivid imagination and a desire for social status, he uses fake hatbands, secondhand European luggage, and endless fibs to invent a grander reality.
• Lady Moya: An aristocrat traveling under an assumed name who possesses a soft Irish accent, quick humor, and a spirited, down-to-earth nature that cuts through pretense.
• Lord Ivy ("Stumps"): Lady Moya’s brother, the young Earl. He is easygoing, vaguely cheerful, and thoroughly unfazed by the absurdities around him or his sister's friendly banter with strangers.
• Mr. Aldrich: The hot-tempered American escort traveling with the Earl and Lady Moya. He is fiercely suspicious of Kinney's posturing and determined to see the law punish the two clerks.

In Its Own Voice

"He holds that if you want adventures you must go after them."

Joe reflects on his roommate Kinney’s philosophy of life, which sets their unexpected holiday misadventures in motion.

"If you want adventures you must be somebody of importance."

Kinney justifies his reliance on second-hand luxury bags and decorative hatbands to elevate his status as a twenty-dollar-a-week clerk.

"He means Lipton! We can’t lift the cup, we can’t lift the roofs. Don’t you see, Stumps!"

Lady Moya laughs delightedly on deck, catching the quick wit in Joe's defense of American naval pride against her brother's offhand remarks.

What It's Really About

The narrative explores the tension between genuine self-worth and artificial pretense. Kinney believes that the world only responds to titles, expensive accessories, and grand status, compelling him to construct an elaborate facade out of secondhand labels and borrowed ribbons. In contrast, Joe’s unpretentious honesty and simple background as a Connecticut coastal worker allow him to connect naturally with people across social boundaries. The story humorously argues that real dignity and romance stem from authentic action and character rather than manufactured importance, showing how foolish social posturing looks when real life demands practical courage.

Why Read It Today

Readers who enjoy lighthearted classic fiction, sharp comedic dialogue, and swift maritime pacing will find much to admire here. The narrative captures the early twentieth-century charm of New York office life, Sound steamer travel, and class anxieties with an easy, warm precision. It moves briskly from quiet boarding-house banter to lively sea drama without losing its affectionate, dry humor.

The prose is straightforward and accessible, though readers should note a few period details, such as light early 1900s slang, references to old athletic gear, and minor social stereotypes of the era. What lingers after reading is the contrast between Kinney's anxious need to pose and Joe's natural self-assurance—a dynamic that remains relatable to anyone who has ever felt the pressure to appear grander than they are.