The old man's bag

In Short

This whimsical Edwardian tale follows an elderly couple living in a wood who discover that a large, versatile bag is the perfect tool for acquiring goods they cannot afford. Their lighthearted thievery repeatedly draws the attention of a local policeman, leading to a series of absurdist confrontations. With its simple, repetitive prose and dry wit, the book captures a playful, slightly cynical tone typical of early twentieth-century children's literature. It endures as a charming, if eccentric, curiosity that prioritizes nonsense and gentle subversion over any traditional moral lesson.

The Story

The story begins with an old man living in the woods who discovers a simple method for procurement: he walks into a field, calls a hen, and captures it in his large bag. His triumph is short-lived when he encounters a policeman wearing a bright red suit. A chase ensues, covering ten miles, until the old man drops his bag to escape. The policeman, however, catches him and demands to see what is inside. To the officer’s surprise, the hen has escaped through a hole in the bag, leaving the old man free to return home and laugh about the narrow miss with his wife.

The wife, a very neat woman, decides the bag needs repair and sews up the hole. On market day, she takes the bag to town. Seeing a sign declaring "Butter is Cheap," she helps herself to a roll. Once again, the red-clad policeman pursues her. This time, there is no hole for the butter to escape through, and the policeman discovers the stolen goods. Rather than arresting her immediately, the two engage in a polite, circular conversation about the nature of butter and the weather. The wife manages to delay her imprisonment by promising to accompany him the next morning, provided it is not raining.

The couple survives the morning by bribing a visitor with jam and bread, only to realize the visitor was merely a gas inspector. When the actual policeman arrives later, the weather has turned foul, and the wife insists that, per their agreement, she cannot go to prison in the rain. Confused and defeated, the policeman eventually abandons his post. He grows so weary of his failing career—and his suit, which has lost its dye in the rain—that he decides to reinvent himself. He orders a flamboyant green-and-yellow soldier’s uniform and begins strutting about, free from the burdens of law enforcement.

The old couple welcomes this change, inviting the "soldier" to dinner. They use the bag to gather a feast of hens, bacon, and marmalade. Emboldened by his new status, the soldier eventually departs, and the old man goes out once more to stock up for the future. He returns with an odd collection: a cat and kitten, a pillowcase of hay, and broken glass. Exasperated by his absurdity, the wife retires to bed, leaving the old man alone. Deciding the bag is no longer useful, he cuts it into pieces and burns it, leaving the reader with a final, teasing mystery regarding his true motivation.

How It Unfolds

The hen incident The old man demonstrates his thieving technique in the woods, only to be chased for ten miles by a red-suited constable. After the man is caught, the hen’s timely escape through a hole in the bag secures his freedom.

The butter heist The wife, acting on her own initiative, attempts to replicate the success of the bag at the market. She is caught by the same policeman, but her polite excuses and the lack of a hole in the bag force a complicated negotiation.

A clash of manners The couple manages to evade the law through a combination of social grace and weather-dependent conditions. The policeman’s frustration mounts as he finds himself outmaneuvered by the couple’s refusal to follow standard criminal procedures.

The soldier’s transformation Losing his identity as a policeman, the officer commissions a garish suit and assumes the role of a soldier. This transition shifts the power dynamic, allowing him to dine with the couple instead of arresting them.

The final harvest The old man collects a bizarre assortment of goods in the bag before ultimately deciding to destroy it. The story concludes with the bag burned and the old man inviting the reader to guess his reasons.

The People

The old man is a mischievous, cheerful figure who views his life as a series of jokes. He is motivated by simple desires—a hen, a roll of butter, or a good laugh—and he possesses a resilient sense of humor that remains unshaken by the threat of prison.

His wife is a "very neat woman" who values tidiness and social politeness, yet she is just as comfortable as her husband when it comes to petty theft. She acts as the practical strategist, sewing holes and navigating the social awkwardness of being arrested.

The red policeman serves as the primary obstacle, defined by his striking attire and a rigid, perhaps overly literal, worldview. He is prone to making mistakes and is surprisingly susceptible to manners and excuses. By the end, his desire to be a soldier reflects a wish to be something other than the figure of authority who is constantly being outwitted by an elderly couple.

In Its Own Voice

The narrative style is marked by a droll, matter-of-fact tone, even when the events are entirely nonsensical.

The policeman had a red suit. He was one of those policemen who wear red suits because they are tired of wearing blue.

The author uses this whimsical explanation to establish the story's playful, rule-breaking reality.

"Oh dear, oh dear," she said, "what a pity it is that I sewed up that hole."

The wife’s regret highlights the inversion of values in this story, where the 'repair' is viewed as a mistake because it prevented her from escaping a crime.

What It's Really About

At its core, this book is a subversion of authority and a celebration of nonsense. It strips away the moralizing common in children’s stories of the era, replacing it with a world where the "bad" characters are rewarded for their politeness and the "good" officer is consistently humiliated. The narrative poses a gentle, underlying question about the nature of rules: if a policeman is tired of his uniform, and an old woman is polite enough to delay her own arrest, do the laws of the land still hold any weight? Ultimately, it is a story about the fluidity of identity and the triumph of a quick wit over rigid, bureaucratic expectations.

Why Read It Today

Readers who enjoy the absurd humor of Edward Lear or the playful, anarchic spirit of early children’s books will find much to admire here. It is a very short, brisk read that feels like a campfire story told with a wink. The prose is sparse and rhythmic, designed to be read aloud, making it an excellent choice for those who appreciate the cadence of turn-of-the-century English.

However, modern readers should be prepared for the book's period sensibilities. The casual attitude toward theft and the light treatment of the law are clearly intended as comedic, but they lack the pedagogical structure many expect from children's fiction today. There are no lessons here, only a series of escalating events that culminate in a puzzle. The tone is consistently dry and detached, which provides a refreshing lack of sentimentality but may feel abrupt to those accustomed to more "heartwarming" narratives. If you are looking for a story that refuses to be taken seriously and concludes with a genuine, unsolvable riddle, this brief volume will stay with you long after the final page is turned. It is a curious, strange, and entirely unique piece of literary history that prioritizes the joy of the "what if" over the clarity of the "why."