The Rubáiyát of a Persian Kitten

In Short

This illustrated book of playful light verse reimagines Omar Khayyam's famous philosophical stanzas through the perspective of a pampered Persian kitten. As the young animal explores its household environment, it reflects upon morning routines, inaccessible kitchen dainties, mysterious mirror reflections, and violent altercations with neighboring yard animals. It contemplates the nature of feline existence, the fleeting pleasure of catnip, and the recurring peril of human discipline. The work has endured because of its sharp literary wit, its affectionate observation of feline nature, and its clever juxtaposition of high Orientalist poetic form with the mundane realities of domestic pet life.

The Story

The poem opens at dawn as the young Persian kitten observes the light breaking over the household, grandly declaring that the day has begun. Watching the early bird capture a worm, the kitten draws an immediate moral lesson about the futility of early rising, promptly deciding to return to sleep. Upon waking again, the kitten takes stock of its immediate surroundings, comparing the vast blue sky to an inverted bowl on a pantry shelf—equally hollow and incapable of providing aid.

As the day unfolds, the kitten encounters various ordinary phenomena that provoke deep intellectual confusion and wonder. It chases a rolling ball that inexplicably returns when thrown, and it engages in a futile struggle to touch a mirror image that eludes its grasp behind the glass. Looking out into nature, the kitten constructs its own theology, speculating that pussy-willows and river bulrushes are merely stray angel kittens and discarded feline tails transformed by divine creation.

The journey proceeds into the realm of physical temptation and sensory delight. A period of low spirits is suddenly cured by the arrival of catnip, which the kitten treats as a potent, mind-altering herb requiring careful moderation lest it lead to unseemly behavior. Hunger soon drives the kitten to the kitchen area, where it contemplates the mysterious disappearance of mice into traps and gazes longingly at fresh seafood displayed on the counter. Unable to resist the allure of a raw sole, the kitten steals a portion of fish, asserting that a single stolen bite enjoyed in secret is far superior to any meal formally served at the table.

Punishment follows swiftly. Cook arrives with a hose to thoroughly drench the thief, sending the kitten fleeing up through the apartment building from the basement to the highest floor. After creating havoc along the way by unraveling balls of yarn and knocking over an inkwell, the cat retreats beyond reach, defying the wrath of the household. It settles on the backyard fence, engaging in late-night altercations with rival neighborhood cats that leave its fur tattered, while stoically ignoring the barks of dogs and the shoes thrown by annoyed neighbors.

In the final stanzas, the kitten contemplates its ultimate fate. Rather than despairing over human anger or the threat of drowning, the feline rests easy in the knowledge of its legendary nine lives. Confident that it can survive any earthly setback until its final numerical limit is reached, the kitten calmly embraces its destiny.

How It Unfolds

Dawn and early doubts The kitten marks the arrival of morning light and watches an early bird catch a worm. Concluding that early rising leads only to misfortune, it promptly retreats to sleep.

Pantry reflections Surveying the household, the kitten compares the vast sky to an empty bowl in the pantry. It wrestles with the mystery of a returning play-ball and searches in vain for the secret creature living inside the looking-glass.

Botanical theories While observing the natural world, the kitten speculates on the origins of plants. It decides that pussy-willows and river bulrushes are simply lost angel kittens or rejected tails discarded during creation.

The spicy herb Suffering from a bout of poor health, the kitten finds solace in a gift of catnip. It accepts the intoxicating plant while cautioning itself against indulging too heavily in its unpredictable effects.

The kitchen raid Driven by an empty stomach, the kitten fixates on a fine sole sitting upon the cold ice chest. It steals a taste of the forbidden fish, declaring that stolen food tastes far sweeter than table scraps.

Retaliation and flight Cook discovers the theft and turns the water hose upon the offender, drenching its pride. The kitten flees from the basement all the way to the top floor, knocking over an inkwell to mark its escape.

Backyard philosophy The kitten retreats to the fence to argue and fight with local strays, losing patches of fur in the process. It comfortably ignores the barking dogs below and the objects thrown through the darkness by angry lodgers.

The nine lives Reflecting upon its ongoing survival, the kitten dismisses the threats of its human masters. It finds ultimate comfort in the arithmetic of feline existence, knowing it possesses nine lives before its cup is truly empty.

The People

The Persian Kitten The central figure and primary narrator of the verse. Curious, proud, and deeply philosophical, the kitten approaches every domestic experience through a lens of high drama and existential inquiry. It seeks good food, warmth, and answers to life's puzzling mechanics, such as mirror images and rolling balls. Though frequently brought low by its own urges to steal fish or tangle yarn, it maintains a stance of noble defiance against discipline.

Cook The primary antagonist within the kitten's immediate world. Responsible for preparing meals and guarding the larder, Cook stands directly between the kitten and its desired delicacies. Cook reacts to the kitten's thievery with swift, wet retribution using a garden hose, representing the harsh reality of human authority.

The Master The shadowy human authority figure who inhabits the upper floors of the residence. Known primarily through loud commands of "Scat!" when the kitten causes domestic chaos, the Master represents the rules of the house that the kitten continually defies.

The Dog A noisy adversary living outside or nearby, described by the kitten as a perverted soul. The Dog attempts to intimidate the feline with loud barking and bluster, though the kitten remains thoroughly unimpressed by these empty threats.

In Its Own Voice

"Wake! for the Golden Cat has put to flight / The Mouse of Darkness with his Paw of Light:"

The poem begins by announcing the arrival of morning in grand, astronomical terms that reframe the break of day as a cosmic feline hunt.

"Ah, take the Fish and let your Credit go, / And plead the rumble of an empty Tum."

When faced with raw fish resting on the counter, the kitten justifies immediate theft over moral restraint or future consequences.

"We come like Kittens and like Cats we go."

After knocking over an inkwell and reflecting on the meaning of its antics, the narrator summarizes the brevity and circular nature of feline life.

What It's Really About

At its heart, the work is a gentle parody of human solemnity and philosophical pretensions. By taking the lofty, fatalistic quatrains of Victorian translation and placing them in the mouth of a house pet, the text highlights the dramatic melodrama with which creatures—both human and animal—confront their daily desires. The poem plays with themes of appetite, temptation, and authority. The kitten's endless search for fish, its struggle against the tyranny of Cook, and its absolute certainty of its own central place in the universe mirror human philosophical struggles with fate and morality. Beneath the light humor lies a clever observation of feline independence: despite punishment, wet fur, and human anger, the cat remains entirely unrepentant, relying on its own stubborn nature and nine lives to see it through.

Why Read It Today

This volume appeals directly to lovers of feline humor, vintage illustration, and classical literary satire. Readers who enjoy parodies of classic poetry will appreciate how skillfully the verse parodies the meter and rhyme scheme of Edward FitzGerald's famous translation of Omar Khayyam. The text reads swiftly, offering a playful contrast between sophisticated language and base animal behavior, such as sneaking raw fish or fighting on backyard fences.

The work carries very few barriers for modern readers. The language is clean, accessible, and rhythmic, relying on simple domestic settings that remain entirely relatable today. The only slight challenge lies in its historical framing—understanding the parody requires a passing familiarity with classic orientalist verse forms, and the capitalizations reflect early twentieth-century publishing styles. What remains after more than a century is a charmingly accurate depiction of feline self-importance. The kitten's haughty dismissal of human rules and its absolute refusal to admit wrongdoing will resonate with anyone who has ever shared a home with a cat.