The Twins, and How They Entertained the New Minister: A Farce

In Short

This brief, lighthearted farce serves as a period comedy designed for amateur performance. It centers on a minister’s awkward encounter with two young, irrepressible twins, Bobby and Betty, who proceed to dismantle his composure by revealing their family’s gossip, habits, and secrets. Originally published in 1914, the play highlights the comedic potential of social embarrassment. It remains a fascinating artifact of its time, capturing a specific brand of domestic humor and the social expectations placed upon the clergy in the early twentieth century.

The Story

The action unfolds in the Forrest family’s reception room, where the new minister, Rev. J. Jones, arrives for a formal pastoral call. He is greeted by the twins, Bobby and Betty, who immediately take charge of the situation with a mixture of practiced adult affectation and childish bluntness. They explain that they are accustomed to answering the door, as their mother prefers to maintain the option of being "in" or "out" depending on the visitor.

The twins then launch into an unfiltered monologue about their household. They describe their father’s gambling, the mother’s vanity regarding her shoes and clothing, and the parents' cynical view of the ministry. They reveal, for instance, that their father considers the clergy an easy profession, involving little more than standing in a pulpit to scold a captive audience. The minister, clearly increasingly uncomfortable, attempts to maintain his dignity, but he is constantly thwarted by the children’s insistence on "entertaining" him as they have been taught.

The children offer him wine, a cigar, and even a lesson in the tango, all of which the minister politely but firmly refuses. Their dialogue reveals a home filled with small hypocrisies, such as the mother’s complaints about the cost of clothing and the father’s annoyance at accidentally dropping a gold piece into the collection plate. The children, unaware of the social gravity of these revelations, treat the minister as a confidant, assuming he will forgive them for sharing "bad things" just as he does for the household staff.

As the interview progresses, the minister finds himself cornered by the children’s persistent inquiries about his personal life—asking if he dances, if he chases young women, and why he chooses to remain unmarried. He tries to exit multiple times, but the children keep him detained, fearful that their mother will punish them for failing to entertain him properly. The farce concludes as the mother finally enters the room. Dressed in her finest attire and expecting a respectable social exchange, she is greeted by the children, who triumphantly announce that they have fulfilled their duty. The minister rises to meet her, the tension of the preceding revelations hanging in the air, as the curtain falls on this scene of domestic exposure.

How It Unfolds

The formal arrival The minister enters the home expecting a standard pastoral interaction. Instead, he is immediately intercepted by the twins, who assume full control of the reception process.

The game of callers The children explain the rules of their "Caller's game," which incentivizes them to act as gatekeepers for their mother. They reveal that their parents view visitors as a nuisance to be managed or avoided.

The unburdening of secrets The twins begin a rapid-fire disclosure of family life, including the father's gambling habits and the mother's social pretenses. The minister is forced to listen as they describe how their parents speak of him and his peers.

The unwanted hospitality Bobby and Betty offer the minister wine, cigars, and dancing lessons, oblivious to his professional boundaries. They demand he confirm his interest in traditional male pursuits, like horse riding or "taking toll" from young women.

The final confrontation The twins plead with the minister to remain, fearing maternal retribution if they fail to entertain him. The mother finally enters, unknowingly walking into the social wreck her children have created.

The People

Bobby and Betty are the heart of the play. They are bright, articulate, and completely devoid of the social filters that govern the adult world. Their primary motivation is to win their father’s reward for handling callers, a goal that keeps them focused on securing the minister’s attention. They are not intentionally malicious; they are simply honest, viewing the minister as a peer who can be trusted with the "truth" about their home.

The Rev. J. Jones is the foil to the twins’ chaos. He wants only to conduct a standard, respectful pastoral visit, but he finds himself paralyzed by the social awkwardness of his situation. He is a man of professional restraint, standing in stark contrast to the children’s lack of boundaries. By the end of the scene, he is left as a silent observer, having been thoroughly stripped of his clerical authority by the children’s relentless candor. The mother, appearing only at the very end, represents the veneer of respectability that the children have so carelessly shredded. Her primary concern is her appearance and social standing, making her entrance the perfect ironic climax to the children’s indiscretions.

In Its Own Voice

The children’s transactional view of their social duties is established early:

"We’ve each got a little book, and we put down which caller we answer the bell to and get a piece of candy for each caller."

The twins are entirely unconcerned with professional decorum, as evidenced by their blunt assessment of the ministry:

"It’s ’cause it’s an easy way to earn your living; just stand up in a pulpit and scold the people when they dassn’t talk back."

Their lack of boundaries extends to the minister's personal life:

"I know what you like—fast horses, don’t you?"

What It's Really About

At its core, the play explores the tension between adult artifice and childhood sincerity. The humor arises from the total collapse of the "polite society" that the mother and the minister both inhabit. By using the twins as agents of truth, the play exposes the underlying cynicism in the family’s private life, suggesting that the values projected to the outside world are frequently at odds with the realities of the home. It poses a quiet question about what we teach our children, and how that instruction can come back to haunt us when the lessons are applied in the wrong contexts.

Why Read It Today

This play is a delightful, brisk read for anyone interested in the history of amateur theatricals or early twentieth-century domestic comedies. It is short enough to be read in a single sitting, and its rhythmic, rapid-fire dialogue captures a sense of mischief that feels timeless. The writing is unpretentious, relying on the absurdity of the situation rather than complex moralizing.

Modern readers should be aware that the play is firmly rooted in 1914. Its humor relies on tropes common to that era—such as the "troublesome twin" archetype—and it reflects the social attitudes of its time regarding class, religion, and gender roles. While the dialect and references to "tango slippers" or "Morris chairs" provide a clear sense of period, the fundamental situation—the anxiety of trying to maintain a perfect public face while having children who insist on telling the truth—is one that many will find relatable. It is a light, funny piece that serves as a reminder of how social expectations have changed, even as the basic comedy of human embarrassment remains unchanged. For those who enjoy character-driven humor and historical snapshots of American life, this farce is a brief, energetic experience.