The understudy [Night watches, Part 3.]

In Short

This humorous short story follows three hapless sailors—Sam Small, Ginger Dick, and Peter Russet—who discover a stray dog in a London pub and become convinced that finding its owner will result in a lucrative reward. Their amateurish attempts to care for and "market" the animal lead to a comedy of errors involving disgruntled landladies, cab drivers, and a mysterious barge skipper. Written with the dry wit and rhythmic, vernacular narration characteristic of its era, the story endures as a sharp, endearing portrait of human greed and petty rivalry.

The Story

The narrative begins in a small public house near Commercial Road, where the trio of sailors—Sam, Ginger, and Peter—stumble upon a large black dog. Seeing an opportunity for profit, Sam insists on taking charge of the animal, hoping for a reward. His companions reluctantly agree to share the "investment," though the logistics of keeping a dog in their shared room quickly become a nightmare. The animal, restless and noisy, forces them to hide it from their landlady, who is eventually fooled into thinking the dog’s mournful howling is merely Sam suffering from a severe case of toothache.

As the days progress, the men find the animal an increasingly difficult burden. It is expensive to feed, impossible to keep quiet in public houses, and a source of constant suspicion between the friends, who each fear the others might cheat them out of their potential earnings. Desperate for relief, they approach the night-watchman at a local wharf, persuading him to take custody of the dog for a small daily fee. The watchman, skeptical but eventually swayed by their payment, ties the dog to a crane and continues his rounds.

The plot thickens when a barge skipper pulls alongside the wharf. He notices the dog and remarks that it bears a striking resemblance to his own retriever, which he claims he must discard because it bit his baby. After a brief, friendly conversation, the skipper offers the watchman a small sum of money—a "Christmas-box"—and asks to swap the dog’s collar onto his own animal, purely for a bit of sport. The watchman agrees, satisfied with the extra cash.

Shortly after the barge sails away, the three sailors reappear in a frenzy, having heard of a five-pound reward offered by a landlord in Bow for a lost dog. They reclaim their animal from the watchman and dash off to claim the bounty. However, their triumph is short-lived. A few hours later, they return to the wharf in a state of fury, admitting that the landlord rejected the dog as an imposter. The watchman, having already pocketed his earnings and sensing the chaos, sends them packing into the night, leaving the men with nothing but their own greed and a confused, unwanted dog.

How It Unfolds

The discovery Sam Small and his companions find a stray dog in a pub and decide to keep it in hopes of a reward. They immediately begin arguing over the animal’s value and how to split the potential proceeds.

The domestic crisis Smuggling the dog into their lodgings turns into a disaster when the animal howls in the middle of the night. The men narrowly escape eviction by lying to their landlady about the source of the noise.

The wharf hand-off Unable to handle the dog’s demands, the trio pays the night-watchman to harbor it. He takes the animal, unaware that he is being used as a temporary storage facility for their scheme.

The subtle switch A barge skipper visits the wharf and strikes up a conversation with the watchman. He swaps the collar from the sailors’ dog onto his own, effectively leaving the watchman with the wrong animal.

The final rejection The sailors return, convinced they have identified the dog sought by a landlord in Bow. When the landlord rejects the dog, the men return to the watchman in a rage, only to be dismissed.

The People

Sam Small is the instigator, a man whose eyes are always fixed on the possibility of a reward. His greed drives the group’s actions, though he is consistently checked by his own lack of foresight and the suspicion of his friends.

Ginger Dick and Peter Russet are Sam's partners, driven by the same desire for easy money but constantly plagued by the inconvenience of the dog. They are perpetually anxious that Sam will deceive them, creating a dynamic of mutual distrust that keeps their alliance fragile.

The night-watchman serves as the story’s calm, detached observer. He is largely indifferent to the sailors' antics and the fate of the dog, viewing the men as a nuisance. Unlike the trio, he is content with the small, honest tips he receives, and he maintains a sense of irony regarding the sailors’ failed ambitions.

The barge skipper is a clever opportunist who uses the watchman’s lack of interest in dogs to his own advantage. He is the only character who successfully maneuvers through the situation, leaving behind a mess for the others to resolve.

In Its Own Voice

"Some people can't make too much of 'em. They talk about a dog's honest eyes and his faithful 'art."

The watchman begins his account by expressing his cynical view of the sentimentality often directed toward dogs.

"He stood there pulling at the dog, wot was sitting down and being dragged along on its stummick."

The narrator describes the stubbornness of the stray, highlighting the physical struggle the sailors face as they attempt to lead it through London streets.

"I watched 'em up the road, and then I locked the gate and walked up and down the wharf thinking wot a funny thing money is, and 'ow it alters people's natures."

As the sailors run off to collect their reward, the watchman muses on the corrupting influence of their desperate quest for wealth.

What It's Really About

The story is a study in the absurdity of human greed. The sailors’ desire for a "reward" blinds them to the reality of the task they have taken on; they become slaves to a dog they do not even like, all for the phantom promise of money. The narrative suggests that greed is not just destructive, but fundamentally ridiculous, as it transforms common sense into a series of frantic, poorly planned maneuvers. Ultimately, the story asks whether the effort required to chase a windfall is ever worth the loss of dignity and peace of mind. It suggests that those who focus on honest, small-scale work—like the watchman—are better off than those who gamble on schemes.

Why Read It Today

Readers who enjoy classic British humor—particularly the dry, observational style of early 20th-century character sketches—will find much to appreciate here. The story moves at a brisk pace, capturing the atmosphere of the London docks with a precision that makes the setting feel tangible. The dialogue, rendered in the colorful cockney-influenced dialect of the era, adds a rhythmic, authentic texture to the narration.

However, modern readers should be prepared for the period-specific attitudes embedded in the prose. The sailors’ casual cruelty toward the dog—and their general lack of empathy—is presented as a matter-of-fact part of their rough-and-tumble lifestyle, which may feel jarring to contemporary sensibilities. While the sailors are intended to be the butt of the joke, their behavior toward animals reflects the time in which the story was written. If you can appreciate the historical distance and the sharp, cynical wit of the narrator, you will find this a clever and amusing exploration of human folly. It stays with you not for its grand themes, but for the vivid, grumpy voice of the night-watchman and the relentless, pathetic ambition of the three men who thought they could trick the world.