Thirty Degrees Cattywonkus

In Short

This science fiction story follows Ernie Lane, a newlywed who discovers a shifting, impossible room in his house that serves as a gateway to an experimental "third dimension." Orchestrated by government officials and scientists, the experiment aims to use Ernie and his wife as the nucleus for a new, colonized civilization. As Ernie navigates the absurdities of interdimensional politics and the threat of being replaced by his own double, he must find a way to dismantle the project and reclaim his ordinary life, resulting in a surreal, darkly humorous conclusion.

The Story

Ernie Lane and his wife, Melinee, have just moved into 1312 Cedar Lane. Almost immediately, Ernie notices a peculiar, intermittent door in their hallway that appears and vanishes without explanation. One evening, after a frustrating day, he discovers that the door is back. When he attempts to investigate it, his wife’s appearance shifts—her hair turns red and her personality becomes cold and smirking, leaving him disoriented. Despite his efforts to ignore the oddity, the door’s recurrence forces a confrontation.

Ernie eventually discovers that the door leads to a tilted, thirty-degree "cattywonkus" room inhabited by jovial men and scientific equipment. He learns that he has stumbled into an experimental reality sponsored by the government of "The Unison States." The scientists there intend to manipulate his life and home to establish an "Adam and Eve" scenario for a new civilization. Ernie is told he is trapped, and worse, that because of a technical miscalculation, a second version of himself is destined to emerge and potentially replace him.

Determined to escape, Ernie pretends to cooperate while identifying the project’s vulnerabilities. He discovers that the entire operation is rife with the same petty politics as his own world—Senators and committees are more concerned with funding and "Congrice" approval than with the ethical implications of their experiment. Realizing the project is fragile, he sabotages the equipment, causing a massive explosion that collapses the artificial dimension.

In the aftermath, Ernie finds himself in a strange, parallel version of Washington, D.C. He navigates the city's surreal bureaucracy, obtaining a pass to move between worlds, and eventually manages to return to his own dimension. He awakens in his original house, desperate to move away. However, the ending takes a final, unsettling turn: while his wife finds no evidence of the extra door, she reports that a man identical to Ernie, claiming to be named Irvin, has arrived at their doorstep. The experiment has not been fully contained, and Ernie is left to face a double he cannot easily dismiss, suggesting that the instability of his home—and his identity—persists despite his efforts to escape.

How It Unfolds

The mystery of the door Ernie notices an unexplained eleventh or twelfth room in his new home that refuses to stay put. His growing obsession with the doorway reveals cracks in his reality, including sudden, inexplicable changes in his wife’s appearance and demeanor.

An impossible discovery Stealthily exploring the wall, Ernie finds a hatch that opens into a sprawling, tilted laboratory. He meets the architects of this space, who explain that his home serves as the anchor point for a government-funded experimental dimension.

The weight of the experiment Ernie learns he is a pawn in a larger, absurd political project designed to colonize a new reality. He realizes the scientists are technically incompetent and that a duplicate of himself is about to trigger a fatal contradiction.

Sabotage and chaos Seizing an opportunity, Ernie destroys the laboratory’s sensitive equipment, causing the artificial world to rupture. The resulting explosion sends him spiraling through a series of bureaucratic, otherworldly landscapes as he struggles to find his way back home.

The final ambiguity Ernie returns to his life and attempts to move, hoping to leave the strangeness behind. The narrative concludes on a chilling note when he discovers that his efforts to delete the experiment have only resulted in a new, tangible manifestation of his own double.

The People

Ernie Lane is the story's protagonist, a standard-issue office worker who values stability. His desire for a quiet life with his wife is challenged by his encounter with the "cattywonkus" room, forcing him to shift from a passive observer to a cunning saboteur. Melinee is his wife, who oscillates between her ordinary self and "Marsha," a version of herself created or influenced by the experimenters. She remains a victim of the dimensional shifts, largely unaware of the extent of the ordeal. The Chief Scientist, who manages the laboratory, represents the banality of bureaucratic power; he is more concerned with budgetary constraints and "Congrice" (Congressional) approval than the existential horror of his project. He serves as a mirror to Ernie, representing the cold, administrative side of a world that treats human lives as mere variables in a scientific trial.

In Its Own Voice

"It doesn't take a heap of leaving to make any house a nightmare."

The narrator sets a foreboding tone for the story, suggesting that domestic stability is far more fragile than it appears.

"The whole thing seemed to be about thirty degrees lopsided."

Ernie describes the jarring, physical disorientation he feels when he first enters the experimental chamber hidden behind his hallway wall.

"You and Marsha will run this dimension."

The scientist reveals the ultimate goal of the government experiment: to force Ernie and his wife to act as the foundation for a new, colonized civilization.

What It's Really About

At its core, the book is a satire of government overreach and the absurdity of bureaucratic systems. By framing the creation of an entirely new dimension as a project subject to committee votes, political maneuvering, and budgetary "waste," the author mocks the tendency of authorities to approach even the most profound, reality-altering concepts with the same mundane, short-sighted logic used to manage a zoning board. Beneath the science fiction premise, the story explores the loss of individual autonomy. Ernie’s struggle is not just against a magical door, but against a system that feels entitled to own his life, his home, and his identity. It asks whether a person can ever truly be free in a world where power is exercised for the sake of abstract "experimental" utility.

Why Read It Today

Readers who enjoy mid-century science fiction will find this a fascinating, if brief, relic of the 1960s. It captures the specific, slightly paranoid energy of that era, where the rapid advancement of technology and the growth of federal bureaucracy felt like a encroaching, surreal tide. The writing is punchy and moves with a frantic, dream-like pace that mirrors the protagonist’s growing panic.

However, modern readers should be prepared for the period-typical attitudes that permeate the text. The portrayal of the marriage is firmly rooted in the 1950s "newlywed" trope, and the gender dynamics feel dated; Melinee is largely treated as a possession or a plot device to be reshaped by the scientists, and her own agency is virtually non-existent. Furthermore, the prose has a "pulp" quality—it is fast and informal, occasionally sacrificing logical consistency for the sake of a clever twist or a sudden, explosive scene. It is not a deeply philosophical work, but it is a highly readable piece of imaginative fiction that captures the anxiety of living in a world that is fundamentally "cattywonkus." Those who appreciate stories where the mundane world hides a sinister, nonsensical infrastructure will find this a memorable, unsettling experience that lingers long after the final page.