To Infidelity and Back

In Short

This book serves as both a personal memoir and a theological manifesto. It documents the author's intellectual drift into skepticism and his subsequent reclamation of faith through the lens of the American Restoration Movement. By framing his internal struggle as a "ten years’ journey" through metaphorical deserts and oceans of doubt, the author provides a guide for those currently wrestling with rationalistic critiques of the Bible. It remains a significant historical artifact for understanding the fervor of early 20th-century Christian sectarian debates and the quest for primitive, undivided apostolic Christianity.

The Story

The narrative begins with a young man’s intellectual awakening, which quickly turns into a crisis of faith. Seeking logical consistency, the author moves away from traditional Christian doctrines, finding the contradictions of human creeds—specifically the Trinity—to be "logically inconceivable." This initial discomfort leads him into the arms of Unitarianism, where he feels momentarily at home. However, he soon discovers that his rationalistic curiosity is a voracious master. A Universalist challenges his belief in eternal punishment; a further skeptic challenges his belief in a benevolent God, arguing that the existence of evil renders a perfect creator logically impossible.

As the author pursues this path of "rationalism," he finds himself spiraling further away from the supernatural elements of the faith. He adopts the stance of the "vanguard" of his time, eventually viewing the Bible not as a divine revelation, but as a collection of texts to be parsed, criticized, or discarded. He describes this period as a time of "negation," where his intellectual pride acts as a barrier to spiritual peace. He becomes increasingly convinced that the evangelical preachers he once respected are intellectually dishonest for clinging to a supernatural Bible while adopting rationalistic methods of criticism.

The turning point occurs when the author realizes the logical failure of his own guides. He discovers that the same rationalism that stripped away his faith in the Trinity and the miracles of Christ is, by its own internal logic, leading inevitably to total atheism. Faced with the "monstrous sharks of procrastination" and the emptiness of his intellectual conclusions, he begins to look elsewhere. He turns to historical evidence, examining the testimony of the Apostles and the preservation of the biblical record. By applying the same "rational" rigor to history that he had previously applied to theology, he concludes that the resurrection of Christ is a historical reality.

Once he accepts the resurrection, his return to faith is swift. He rejects his former rationalistic guides, characterizing them as "hire critics" who have lost the forest for the trees. The final chapters transition from personal history to an exhortation for the reader to join the Restoration Movement. He advocates for a return to "primitive" Christianity, urging the reader to abandon all human-made creeds, sectarian labels, and divisive traditions. He ends with a call to action, arguing that a unified church, modeled strictly on apostolic practice and baptism by immersion, is the only way to effectively evangelize the world and reclaim the spiritual power lost to division and intellectual vanity.

How It Unfolds

The departure from orthodoxy The author explains how a desire for logical clarity regarding the Trinity led him to abandon traditional church teachings. He describes the initial seductive appeal of Unitarianism, which promised a more "rational" approach to the divine.

The descent into skepticism Each step toward pure rationalism requires the author to shed another piece of his faith to maintain internal consistency. He recounts how he was systematically dismantled by peers who used his own logic to argue against the possibility of an all-powerful, loving God.

The pivot to history After exhausting the limits of pure speculation, the author begins a study of the Bible’s historical reliability. He moves from abstract "think-so's" to a reliance on observed facts, testimony, and the integrity of the original witnesses.

The restoration of faith Acceptance of Christ’s resurrection becomes the foundation upon which he rebuilds his entire worldview. He concludes that if Christ is the Son of God, his endorsement of the Scriptures must be absolute, rendering rationalistic criticism moot.

The mission of unity In the final section, the author applies his findings to the broader religious landscape of his day. He argues that all denominations must set aside their specific human traditions and return to the simple, unified practice of the primitive church.

The People

The author, Henry F. Lutz, is the central figure, serving as both the subject and the guide. He portrays himself as a seeker whose intellect was both his greatest trap and, eventually, his ladder back to God. He is candid about his former arrogance, admitting he once viewed those with traditional faith with "pity and contempt."

The "rationalists," Unitarians, and Universalists act as the primary intellectual obstacles. They are not depicted as villains, but as "logicians" whose focus on internal consistency blinds them to the necessity of faith and historical experience. The author contrasts these figures with the Pioneers of the Restoration Movement. These men are held up as heroes—figures who were willing to endure poverty and ostracism to strip away "sectarian" baggage.

Finally, Jesus Christ is the ultimate authority. By the end of the narrative, the author has moved from viewing Christ as a moral exemplar to viewing him as the essential, divine center. He concludes that one must either accept Christ as the Son of God or dismiss him as a "fool," leaving no middle ground for the rationalists who attempt to admire Christ's ethics while denying his divinity.

In Its Own Voice

Describing the profound disorientation of his early departure from belief, the author writes:

"It was not written for the public, but was simply an effort of my soul to express in a measure, through human symbols, the painful experiences through which it passed."

Reflecting on the limitations of the human mind when addressing infinite truths, he provides this warning:

"These logicians think more of having a clear, than of having a comprehensive, meaning; and although they perceive that every age is adding to the truth which it has received from its predecessors, they fail to see that a counter process of losing, truths already possessed, is also constantly going on."

What It's Really About

At its core, the book is a polemic against the dangers of "rationalistic criticism" within the church. It asks a fundamental question: Is the Christian faith something to be proven by the finite human mind, or is it a revelation that must be accepted by faith? The author argues that when human beings elevate their own reason above biblical authority, they inevitably fracture into sects and lose the power of the Gospel. The work serves as a defense of the Restoration Movement's core thesis: that the division of Christianity into competing denominations is a "carnal" choice that can only be solved by returning to the "primitive" practices of the early church, particularly regarding baptism and the abandonment of human creeds.

Why Read It Today

This book will resonate with readers interested in the history of American religious thought, particularly the intellectual cross-currents of the late 19th and early 20th centuries. It offers a rare, ground-level view of how a believer navigates the "higher criticism" that dominated academic theology during that era. The reading experience is earnest, intense, and often combative; the author does not shy away from long, didactic sections on the definition of Greek words or the specific nature of baptismal rites.

Modern readers may find the author’s fixation on specific liturgical debates and his reliance on phrenology as a "science of the mind" to be dated. However, for those who have experienced a crisis of faith or a departure from a religious upbringing, the author’s descriptions of "heartrending agony" and the "stormy sea of doubt" will feel remarkably contemporary. It is a dense, deeply felt document that captures the struggle to reconcile the demands of the modern intellect with the call of ancient tradition. If you appreciate memoirs that are unapologetically theological and possess a sharp, polemical edge, this work provides a fascinating, if sometimes challenging, portrait of a man finding his way home.