When I was your age

In Short

This book is a collection of reminiscences written by Laura Elizabeth Howe Richards, looking back at her upbringing in a lively, prominent family. She recounts the games, pets, and domestic dramas of her youth, while grounding these personal memories in the larger, storied lives of her parents, Samuel Gridley Howe and Julia Ward Howe. By blending whimsical anecdotes with deep admiration for her parents' humanitarian work, the author creates a lasting portrait of a mid-19th-century childhood that feels both historically distinct and timelessly relatable.

The Story

The story begins with the author, Laura, and her siblings navigating the small but expansive world of their home, "Green Peace." The narrative is not a strict chronology but a thematic exploration of the joys and minor rebellions of childhood. The children, Flossy, Laura, Maud, Harry, and Julia, fill their days with inventive play: creating a "school-loan system" for trading pins, treating an old mahogany footstool named "Pistachio" as a pampered invalid, and engaging in elaborate theatricals. These early chapters establish the tone of the book—a mix of high-spirited mischief and a deep-seated affection for the domestic rituals that bound the siblings together.

As the narrative progresses, the focus expands to include the figures who loomed largest in their lives. The children’s father, the famous reformer Dr. Samuel Gridley Howe, is portrayed as a "knight without reproach," a man driven by the principle that "obstacles are things to be overcome." The author describes his pioneering work with the blind and the intellectually disabled, explaining how his professional passions often intersected with their home life. Similarly, her mother, the poet and activist Julia Ward Howe, appears as a figure of wit, musical brilliance, and intense devotion to her children, despite the era’s rigid expectations for women.

The middle sections of the book detail the rhythm of the family's life, from their summers at the beach—where they once spent a night on the sand after a misunderstanding regarding the tides—to the constant parade of interesting guests who passed through their doors. The author reflects on the eccentric tutors hired by her father, often political exiles, and the presence of luminaries like Charles Sumner, who treated the children with a playful, protective kindness.

The narrative arc naturally draws toward a conclusion as the children mature. The games of childhood, such as the "junk" (a custom-made rocking boat), lose their place to the serious business of growing up. The final chapters transition from the lighthearted antics of a young girl to the reflective observations of an adult looking back at her parents’ final years. The book concludes with a poignant tribute to the "fairy uncle" and the warmth of a home that fostered such independence and character. The author acknowledges that while the past is irrevocably gone, the lessons learned—and the sheer joy of that period—remain etched in her memory, offering a final, quiet benediction on a life well-lived.

How It Unfolds

The childhood laboratory The author introduces the domestic world of her siblings, where everyday objects like footstools and glass eye-cups are transformed into the centerpieces of complex, solemn rituals. These early games serve as a testament to the children’s fertile, unguided imaginations.

The shadow of a fear A transition occurs as the children explore the boundaries of their home, from the "great dining-room" adorned with a carpet once owned by Napoleon’s brother to the mysterious, slightly frightening spaces like the feather-room. This section emphasizes the sensory richness of their environment.

The parents’ legacy The focus shifts to the heroic figures of the author’s mother and father, contextualizing their public crusades for the blind and the disadvantaged within the private warmth of the family. The author highlights her father’s mantra, "Help people to help themselves," as the bedrock of their household values.

The circle of influence The narrative expands to include the parade of tutors, relatives, and famous friends, such as Charles Sumner, who brought the wider world into the children’s living room. Each visitor leaves a distinct impression, shaping the children’s developing sense of character and social responsibility.

The closing of the book The final chapters serve as a gentle curtain call, moving away from specific anecdotes toward a broader reflection on the passage of time. The author leaves the reader with a wish for all children to experience the same freedom and happiness she enjoyed.

The People

The family is anchored by the formidable yet tender parents. Samuel Gridley Howe, the "Chevalier," is the moral compass, a man of action who views the world as a place to be improved. Julia Ward Howe provides the intellectual and creative spark, managing the chaos of a large, spirited household with wit and song.

The siblings are a collective force of nature. Flossy is the inventor, the instigator of games, and the "chief officer" of their make-believe world. Laura (the author) serves as the observant chronicler, recording the events with a mixture of humor and nostalgia. Maud is the youngest, prone to impulsive actions like "blinding" her dolls to mirror the children her father works with, while Harry and Julia round out a group that is constantly shifting between mischief and intellectual curiosity. Together, they form a cohesive unit that defies the stuffiness of the era, guided by their parents’ unusual belief in nurturing rather than suppressing the children’s individual spirits.

In Its Own Voice

“It was a bitter thing to the child (I know all about it, for I was Laura) to be told that she could never have it again, even after school.”

The author recalls a childhood disciplinary moment involving a glass eye-cup, illustrating how seriously children weigh their own sense of justice.

“He was a philanthropist; he had been abroad, and spoke foreign languages,--that was enough!”

The author explains the chaotic, intellectually curious process by which her father gathered a revolving cast of tutors from the ranks of needy political exiles.

“And the little lad showed a piteous face, and said reproachfully, ‘Why, Mamma, I was singing to you!’ who so ready as our mother to listen to the funny song and thank the child for it?”

This interaction captures the warmth of her mother, who prioritized the emotional needs of her children over the silence required for her own work.

What It's Really About

At its heart, this book is an inquiry into the nature of a happy childhood. It argues that a child’s development is best served by a mix of intellectual stimulation, physical freedom, and, most importantly, parents who view their children as individuals rather than subjects to be managed. The author explores how the values of empathy and public duty can be woven into the fabric of daily play. Beneath the humor, there is a serious question about how one preserves the "magic" of early life while learning to navigate the responsibilities of adulthood. It is a defense of the idea that a home should be a laboratory of character.

Why Read It Today

Readers who enjoy the classic, observational style of Victorian-era memoirs will find this a particularly rewarding companion. It feels like sitting in a quiet, sunlit room listening to a grandmother who has not lost her sense of wonder. There is a profound honesty here; the author does not shy away from admitting that she and her siblings were "troublesome" or that they engaged in "downright naughtiness."

While the prose occasionally reflects the formal, sometimes ornate cadences of the late 19th century, the warmth of the author’s voice makes the text accessible and engaging. Modern readers might find the references to "hardened" children dressed in thin slippers during winter or the casual mention of political exiles as tutors to be fascinating glimpses into a vanished world. The book provides a refreshing contrast to the frantic pace of modern parenting, reminding us that there is a quiet, enduring value in letting children have the space to imagine, play, and occasionally get into minor trouble. It is a gentle, lingering read that stays with you, leaving behind the distinct impression of a house filled with light, music, and the sounds of children who were truly loved.