You can't scare me!

In Short

Marc Pillsworth is an advertising executive whose life descends into surreal chaos when his pathologically jealous wife, Julie, hires a horrifying secretary to deter female competition and a sinister conspiracy steals his crucial brief case. As Toffee, a manifestation from his subconscious mind, steps into the real world to assist him, Marc navigates bizarre run-ins with a racketeer, a club singer, and a gun-toting former employee in straightjackets. Ultimately, the chaos clears, the business account is secured, and Julie's unfounded suspicions are resolved, leaving Marc to marvel at the strange magic of his imaginative companion before she quietly returns to where she came from.

The Story

The story opens in Marc Pillsworth's advertising agency, where his life is complicated by the presence of his horrifyingly eccentric secretary, Miss Quirtt, whom his jealous wife Julie insisted upon hiring. Leaving the office, Marc is nearly run over by an automobile after a strange girl screams in the street, plunging him headfirst down a dark, sponge-rubber-lined manhole into a peaceful valley. There, Toffee emerges from his subconscious mind to help him navigate his troubles. Pulled back upward through the twisting dark tube by an unknown, booming voice, Marc wakes up bruised in a hospital receiving room.

Escaping the hospital with Toffee—who procures a glamorous black dress by charging it to his account—Marc returns to his office to find Miss Quirtt still about. Soon after, Julie catches Marc and Toffee tangled together in the darkened office, sparking a furious confrontation about infidelity. Convinced that his brief case was stolen as part of a plot by a rival agency to ruin his chances at landing the Reece account, Marc receives a mysterious ransom phone call directing him to the Southlawn Cemetery.

Seeking answers, Marc and Toffee visit the murky Loma Club, where they encounter Ruby Marlow, a vocalist who admits she was hired by a racketeer named Manny Groute to stage the street distraction. A brawl erupts when insults are exchanged, culminating in Toffee perusing a human pyramid floor show before crashing it from above. Fleeing the club, Marc and the indomitable Toffee head to the cemetery for the ransom drop, where Marc trips over a marker and scares away the mysterious contact.

Determined to trace the fake telegrams that lured his staff out of town, Marc traces the plot to a Mr. Polasky. This leads them to a decaying apartment building and the doorstep of apartment seven, where Miss Quirtt awaits them with a gun. The unhinged secretary confesses to a long, murderous career of psychologically destroying her previous employers. She locks Marc and Toffee in straightjackets, intending to make them her next permanent victims.

Using a sudden blow to knock Marc unconscious, Toffee manages to retreat back into his subconscious mind until he wakes up, allowing them to escape their bonds and alert the authorities. Marc visits Gregory Reece the next morning and successfully lands the advertising account. Back home, Julie receives investigative photographs intended to incriminate Marc, only to discover they contain no trace of Toffee, exposing the detective's fraud. Chastened and repentant, Julie begs Marc's forgiveness. Marc plays hard-to-get for thirty minutes before smiling to himself, realizing that Toffee simply did not photograph, and accepts the restoration of his domestic peace just as Toffee gently slips away back into his imagination.

How It Unfolds

• The voyage begins: Marc steps out onto a quiet city street, gets startled by a sudden, shrill scream from a stranger, and plummets headfirst down an open manhole into a dark, sponge-rubber-walled cylinder that deposits him on a patch of grass.
• The hospital escape: Waking up bruised from a hit-and-run accident, Marc has to distract a jovial intern while Toffee sneaks behind a screen to trade a nurse's uniform for a shimmering black evening gown charged directly to Marc.
• The office ambush: Returning to his agency to search for a stolen brief case, Marc collides with Toffee in the dark, leading to an awkward tangle on the floor just as Julie switches on the lights and accuses Marc of infidelity.
• The nightclub brawl: Seeking information from a local racketeer at the murky Loma Club, Marc and Toffee endure terrible musical acts before a heated argument with Ruby Marlow triggers a chaotic tumble from a human pyramid floor show.
• The cemetery drop: Seeking the ransom for his stolen brief case at midnight, Marc trips over a low tombstone in the dark, frightening away an anonymous contact and leaving them to track down fake telegrams.
• The secretary's trap: Tracing the conspiracy to a decrepit apartment, Marc and Toffee confront Miss Quirtt, who brandishes a gun, confesses to past murders, and forces them into straightjackets inside her apartment.
• The final reconciliation: After securing the vital advertising account from Gregory Reece, Marc returns home to find Julie dismissing a fraudulent detective and begging for forgiveness after the revealing photographs fail to capture Toffee.

The People

• Marc Pillsworth: An advertising agency executive who seeks to avoid the seamier side of life, Marc constantly finds himself dodging professional sabotage, false accusations, and physical mishaps while managing his unpredictable visitor. He ends up bruised, exasperated, but ultimately triumphant in both his career and marriage.
• Toffee: A vibrant, fearless manifestation from Marc's subconscious mind, she appears whenever he is in trouble to offer unconventional help, designer clothing, and absolute confidence. She remains a playful catalyst throughout the chaos before vanishing peacefully once order is restored.
• Julie: Marc's pathologically jealous wife whose insecurity drives her to hire a hideous secretary and later employ a shady detective. After discovering her investigator's deceit and realizing her groundlessness, she humbles herself to win Marc back.
• Miss Quirtt: Marc's terrifying, toothy, and deeply unappealing secretary who harbors a secret career as an unhinged mastermind of psychological destruction. She ends up locked away or handled by the authorities after holding Marc and Toffee captive in straightjackets.
• Ruby Marlow: A rough, abrasive club vocalist and accomplice to local racketeers who aids in distracting Marc with staged street scenes. She ends up in a physical scuffle with Toffee during a chaotic nightclub floor show.

In Its Own Voice

• Introducing the premise, the narrative establishes the surreal dynamic between the protagonist and his visitor: "Toffee knew that Marc Pillsworth was in trouble again, so she came out of his subconscious mind to help him."
• Highlighting the gothic horror of the office staff, the text describes the unsettling introduction of the secretary: "Miss Quirtt closed the door primly and turned to face Marc--very easily the nastiest thing she could possibly have done to anyone."
• Capturing the whimsical friction of their partnership, Marc summarizes Toffee's unpredictable nature after a long night: "Without a memory, you're a terror, with one, you're a positive menace."

What It's Really About

This story explores the tension between respectable middle-class domesticity and the absurd, chaotic undercurrents of human anxiety. Marc's orderly advertising world is repeatedly invaded by monstrous caricatures—jealous wives, homicidal secretaries, and racketeers—representing the hidden psychological pressures of modern professional life. The narrative questions the stability of marital trust and the ways people project their internal fears onto external enemies. Through the whimsical intervention of Toffee, who literally embodies Marc's subconscious mind, the story suggests that a touch of surreal chaos is sometimes necessary to jar rigid personalities out of their destructive jealousies and force a genuine reckoning with emotional reality.

Why Read It Today

Readers who love fast-paced mid-century pulp fantasy infused with sharp, absurdist humor will find a lot to adore here. Reading it feels like stepping into a breathless screwball comedy crossed with a twilight zone cartoon, moving at a relentless, dizzying clip from one bizarre set piece to the next. The dialogue snaps with theatrical verve, and the sheer audacity of characters like Miss Quirtt leaves a lasting impression. Modern readers should be prepared for dated mid-century tropes, particularly period attitudes toward female jealousy and broad caricatures of working women that reflect the popular entertainment standards of 1947 pulp magazines. Despite these historical quirks, the sheer inventiveness of the plot and the charmingly exasperated chemistry between Marc and Toffee make it a delightfully memorable, quick-witted escape.