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Some Assembly Required

A Warmly Funny Field Guide to Bills, Flat-Pack, the Loft, the Man Coming Between 8 and 6, and the Slow Realization That You Are Now the Grown-Up

by Gus Pell

127 pages35,021 wordsNon-fictionAges 18 and up

The washing machine is blinking at you. Three cryptic letters and a number, glowing like a tiny angry lighthouse at eleven o'clock at night. You open your mouth to call for help toward the next room — and then it lands, cold and quiet: there is no one in the next room. The competent, torch-owning, stopcock-knowing grown-up you've been waiting for your whole life is not coming. It's you. You, in a dressing gown, holding the manual like a hymnal.

Here is the strange good news at the heart of this warmly funny field guide: that is the best thing that ever happened to you.

Gus Pell has written the missing manual for the great unspoken curriculum of adult life — the one nobody handed you. The bills that renew themselves in the dark. The appliances that die in threes. The loft you're afraid to open. The man who is definitely coming between eight and six. The leak that always waits for 2 a.m. Pell's central, liberating idea is that adulthood arrived the way everything important arrives: in a big confusing box, missing page four, with a bag of screws nobody can account for and cheerful little letters on the side reading some assembly required. Nobody comes pre-built. The serene neighbor with the labeled tubs got the same box you did. She just built a system.

Wry, kind, and quietly certain you can do this one numbered step at a time, this is the voice of a friend who has stood in that same midnight kitchen and lived. It won't promise that life-admin becomes fun — Pell is too honest for that, and you'd find the spare screws. It promises something better: doable. A method, a flashlight for the fog, and the small, almost boring click of knowing the next move.

Open it up, take a breath, and start with step one.

Inside this book

  1. 1.No One Is Coming (And Other Good News)
  2. 2.The Drawer That Runs Your Life
  3. 3.Some Assembly Required
  4. 4.Death by a Thousand Renewals
  5. 5.Just in Case: A Love Story
  6. 6.They Die in Threes
  7. 7.A Man Is Coming Between 8 and 6
  8. 8.Step Away From the Drill
  9. 9.The Loft
  10. 10.Please Hold: Your Call Is Important
  11. 11.The 2 a.m. Leak
  12. 12.The Boring Money Stuff
  13. 13.You Can Actually Call Someone
  14. 14.Congratulations, You're the Grown-Up
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